


Perilous Plants

by LaufeyOfThay



Series: Thayvian Tales [13]
Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24554449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaufeyOfThay/pseuds/LaufeyOfThay
Summary: Young Edwin gets to develop his skills at gardening and...dentistry? Meanwhile there's a nefarious scheme afoot. Don't feed the plant.
Series: Thayvian Tales [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717807





	1. An Unusual Tooth Fairy

_You'll be a dentist  
You have a talent for causing things pain   
Son, be a dentist   
People will pay you to be inhumane   
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood   
And teaching would suit you still less   
Son, be a dentist   
You'll be a success _

_‘Dentist’, Little Shop of Horrors_

It was a little past midnight, and the moon was only a thin crescent sliver above the treetops. Darkness covered the world, and all was still. Out in the city there were noises, revelers, drunkards, fights going on, even, on occasion, guards daring enough to intervene with those fights. But here, in this particular place, all was silent. This might easily have lead you to believe that nothing was going on, and you would have been utterly, utterly wrong. 

Within the deep shadows of the room, an assassin carefully moved from one patch of deeper darkness to another. This you wouldn’t have seen. Not unless you had the heat-vision of the elves. Possibly, the assassin mused, not even then, according to those people who over the years had expressed the opinion that he had ice water rather than blood in his veins. But that was hardly important. Only one thing mattered, the mission at hand. And he had never been one to abandon a mission, especially one as crucial as this one. 

Slowly, inch-by-inch, the assassin moved across the floor, carefully using a combination of sight, touch and intuition to make his way past all the lethal obstacles in his way. He had no intention whatsoever of losing a limb. At one point he froze in mid-motion, his foot in the air. Then he very carefully bent down to deal with the problem. Once that was over and done with, he went on, approaching the large bed with its soft and fluffy bolsters. Gauzy drapes surrounded it, keeping insects out, and he slowly pulled them aside. The person in the bed seemed to be slumbering deeply, breathing slowly and regularly, and was almost entirely covered by the bedclothes except for a few strands of hair. So far, so good. 

The assassin took a few moments to make certain that the occupant of the bed was still sleeping deeply. Once satisfied that this was the case, he proceeded. This was the really crucial part of the mission, the one that required the utmost precision and care. Fingers that could strangle the thickest of necks, plant a dagger perfectly inside somebody’s heart, or delicately sprinkle poison into a goblet right beneath the target’s nose, now edged towards the pillow. A soft snore made them halt for a moment, but as the sleeper turned over they moved on towards their goal. And there it was, beneath the pillow. A small, hard object, just where it should be. Gently he drew it out, while at the same time replacing it with another small, hard object, this one round and shiny. 

_Finally_ , Vadrak Dekaras thought to himself as he held up the thing he had retrieved, examining it in the beam of moonlight straying through the dark window. _I can’t believe one single little milk tooth could make me do a thing like this_. The assassin turned to look at the bed again, a small and slightly wistful smile crossing his sharp-featured face as he watched the child sleeping in it. By now, the young Edwin Odesseiron was sprawled on his back, still snoring gently. Dark and unruly hair tumbled across the small boy’s forehead, and the way his equally dark eyelashes rested against his cheeks gave him a deceptively innocent appearance, augmented by the fact that he was silent. As he smiled in his sleep, the gap where his first lost tooth had been became visible. 

_He had better appreciate this_ , Dekaras thought. _I can’t imagine how or why Elvira would come up with a ridiculous concept like a ‘tooth fairy’ that pays children for their dental losses._ And of course there had never been any question of just who would get the pleasure of removing the tooth from beneath Edwin’s pillow and replace it with the decided gold coin. Not that he had offered more than a token protest or two. Awkward as this was, he had to admit to himself that it was a rare opportunity to spend some time with his child without having to keep up the pretense that daylight forced him to maintain. _I suppose that is even worth nearly breaking my toe on a toy horse – even though he knows that he is supposed to pack all his toys away before he goes to bed._

Still, he couldn’t allow himself more than a few moments more. If he did, he didn’t think he’d be able to leave at all. Sighing inwardly, the assassin brushed the child’s hair aside, and then carefully planted a light kiss on the smooth forehead. _Sleep well, child._ As he turned to leave, he noticed something on the floor, among the rest of the scattered toys. A book. As he took a closer look at it, he noticed the title. _Interesting…that is an interest we want to encourage, I think. And it would make for a nice little excursion too, peaceful and quiet. Not even Edwin should be able to cause any trouble in that place. After all, what could be more peaceful than a bunch of ancient artifacts?_

The following morning young Edwin eagerly burst into the classroom at full speed, holding something triumphantly aloft. “Teacher Dekaras!” he proclaimed, waving his price about. “Look! Look what I got!” 

The assassin was sitting at his desk, reading. At the sound of the boy’s voice he looked up, smiling slightly at the sight that met him. Edwin wasn’t very tall, and the only parts of him visible were a shock of tousled dark hair, a pair of excited eyes and a gap toothed grin that was bouncing up and down a little. Clearly he was too worked up to stand in one place for very long. “Look!” he repeated, holding his hand out, proudly displaying the large gold coin in it. “The tooth fairy came last night, just like Mother promised, and she turned my tooth into gold!” 

“So it certainly seems,” Dekaras solemnly said. “What a wondrous thing indeed. Did you perhaps catch a glimpse of this mysterious creature?” 

“No,” Edwin admitted, pouting a little. “I tried to stay awake so I could see her, but then I fell asleep anyway. But Mother told me what she’s supposed to look like!” 

“Oh?” 

“Yes. She’s this tiny little thing, sort of like a pixie, with butterfly wings and a lacy white dress, and she makes a tinkling noise like little silver bells whenever she moves about.” Edwin suddenly frowned. “Funny I didn’t hear that.” 

“Well,” Dekaras said, his lips quirking into a crooked smile. “I dare say this particular tooth fairy probably left her bells at home. Most likely the lace as well. I must remember to consult with your mother on the subject whenever the opportunity presents itself. And what are you intending to buy with your prize?” 

Edwin pondered this for a few seconds. “Well,” he said, “I’d like one of those Miniature Monster Wands, but Mother won’t get me one until my next birthday, and one gold won’t be enough to buy one, so I thought I’d buy candy instead. You always say that too much candy make people’s teeth fall out so I thought that if I ate enough the tooth fairy would pay me enough for a wand…” 

The boy fell silent as his teacher shook his head. “I think not,” Dekaras told him. “You see, I happen to know a thing or two about tooth fairies, and I rather suspect that this one would be very upset with you if you lost all of your teeth. Besides, you would be flooding the market, and most likely you’d wind up with only a copper each.” 

“Oh,” Edwin said, a little disappointedly. “What if I spread them out over a few days?” 

“No. No cheating. An angry tooth fairy is not a pretty sight, you know.” 

“What should I buy then?” 

“Whatever you want, of course. Just don’t let me catch you trying to remove your teeth before their time, or the tooth fairy won’t be the only one to be upset with you. Now take your seat. We have a few things to go over today, such as your homework on Illusion spells, which I trust you did manage to do despite your dentally increased fortune?” 

“Er…” Edwin said, fidgeting. He had a sudden feeling that he wouldn’t need to remove his teeth in order to be in trouble. 

Fortunately for Edwin’s sake, he did manage to remember most of his homework, and Dekaras seemed satisfied enough with the result. The homework in question had been centered around the types of illusions that focused on the caster, from the most minor of Mirror Image spells up to the full Simulacrum, that could act independently of the wizard and cast the same spells he could. I’d like to be able to do that, Edwin thought. Just think of all the things we could do! “Teacher Dekaras?” he asked. “Suppose a Simulacrum casts another Simulacrum, and then that one casts another, and another, and another…how many could you get?” 

“An interesting question,” the assassin said, looking pleased. “It would depend on how skilled the original wizard was. A Simulacrum doesn’t have quite the casting capability of the original, as we went over earlier, and a Simulacrum of a Simulacrum would have yet a little less. Eventually you would reach a point where the copy no longer was able to replicate the spell.” 

“Could it do everything else that I could do?” 

“Most things, yes. It is one of the more substantial illusions. Why do you ask?” 

“Well…I just thought that each one would have as many teeth as I do, and maybe the Tooth Fairy wouldn’t be able to tell…” 

“Ah,” Dekaras said, leaning his head in his hand. “Back to the strict monetary motivation, are we? While I appreciate the investigative cut and thrust of a keen young mind, I should warn you that even if you somehow managed to extricate the teeth of your unfortunate copies, they would disappear once the Simulacrum spells ended, leaving the Tooth Fairy with a negative budget balance, and most probably in a bad mood. Now, if we can please leave the subject of teeth for just a little while, I have a surprise for you.” 

Edwin instantly perked up, forgetting his disappointment over the failed financial scheme. “You do? What is it?” 

“You’ll see once we get there. It is, as I said, a surprise. And one involving no teeth whatsoever, I’m happy to say. Come on now. We are going for a walk.” 

A little while later, Edwin was happily walking along the streets of Pyarados, holding his tutor by the hand. Watching carefully, he attempted to emulate the assassin’s way of walking, which could best be described as a gliding stalk, much like a hunting panther. However, due to Edwin having much shorter legs, his own efforts ended up more like skipping, and not at all as dignified or impressive as he had hoped. “Teacher Dekaras?” he asked. “Won’t you please tell me where we’re going?” 

The assassin thought about this for a moment. “Very well,” he said. “I thought that it might be a good idea to further stimulate your newfound interest in ancient artifacts, and the history of Netheril. So, we are going to the Pyrados Museum for the rest of the day. They’ve just opened a new exhibition that I think you will find to your interest.” 

Another person might have felt surprised at this point. However, Edwin was of the firm opinion that his teacher knew everything there was to know in the world, and especially if it concerned Edwin himself, so it came as no great surprise that he would know this as well. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “That is so great! I’ve got this book on the magic of Netheril, did you know that? I’ve read it all, and I remember everything. Did you know that they had these really neat flying cities, only once the magic failed they all fell down, just like that? And they had these really powerful spells too, only stupid Mystra decided human wizards couldn’t have them any more…” He pouted a little at this, but his face soon brightened again. “But when I grow up I’m going to rediscover them all, and learn to use them, and I’ll be the most powerful wizard in the whole world, and I’ll have a pet dragon of my own, and an enchanted castle with a moat filled with Aboleths, and I’ll have a library so big you’ll need a map for it, and unicorns in the garden, no, maybe Nightmares, because they’re way more scary, and you’ll get to come live with me too of course, and I’ll have cookies for dinner every day, and lots of concubines…” 

Edwin paused to draw breath here, and then noticed that his teacher was giving him a penetrating look. “Concubines?” Dekaras asked in a flat voice. 

“Yes,” the boy nodded. Then he frowned. “Only I’m not exactly sure what they are…the book where I read the word didn’t explain it. I thought it might be some kind of chocolate…” 

“Not exactly,” the assassin said, his face expressionless. “Or at least not commonly.” 

“What are they, then?” 

“Briefly summarized, attractive ladies who are especially good at keeping you company.” 

“Yeeeewww!” Edwin said, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Why would I want a lot of girls around?” 

“That you will come to understand on your own once you’re ready for it, boy, and by that time I dare say there’ll be an entirely different set of questions you wish to ask. But never mind that now. We are almost there.” 

The Pyarados Museum was a large and impressive building, with a dome-like roof surrounded by spiraling towers. A vast expanse of marble steps led up to the huge bronze doors, the entire architecture seemed designed to impress people with the fact that this was an Important Building. The stairs seemed practically endless, and Edwin stared despairingly at them. “Don’t worry,” Dekaras said, noticing what he was looking at. “Since you haven’t quite acquired the ability to levitate yourself yet, I’ll be happy to lend you a hand.” 

“I can do it on my own!” Edwin protested. “I’m not a baby!” 

“Of course you’re not. But it would be a shame to have you exhausted even before we reach the exhibits, don’t you think? Now come here.” 

Edwin didn’t protest further, and allowed his teacher to pick him up and place him on his back. It did make sense. “Teacher Dekaras?” he said, his arms firmly wrapped around the assassin’s neck. 

“Yes?” 

“Would you mind going a little faster? Only I’m pretending you’re my noble steer, you see, and I’d like to canter?” 

There were a few seconds of silence as Dekaras digested this, though he did increase his pace a bit. “The word,” he eventually said, “that I believe you meant to use, is ‘steed’. Or at least I certainly hope so. Being a horse is bad enough; I’d rather not be something that’s bred to be beef. Not to mention neutered.” 

“Oh. Sorry.” 

“That’s all right. But don’t even think about braiding my mane…hair.”


	2. Frog and Toad

_Sha-la-la, stop right where you are.  
Don't you move a thing.   
You better (tellin' you, you better)   
Tell your mama somethin's gonna   
get her   
She better (ev'rybody better)   
Beware! _

_‘Little Shop of Horrors’, Little Shop of Horrors_

The museum turned out to be just as interesting as Edwin had hoped. He wandered about in a happy daze, admiring crumbling old mummies, unfortunately not animated, hideously spiky and extremely interesting flails, various magical items, and even the mounted skeleton of a real dragon. The beast had been huge, and the skeleton took up most of the vast lower floor of the museum, with the long neck rearing up through the surrounding floors, and the fanged skull looking down from somewhere near the ceiling. “Wow…” Edwin said, staring upwards. “A dragon…I wish it was alive.” 

“I’m sure the dragon would agree with that,” his tutor dryly remarked. “Of course, then it might just decide to have you for an appetizer.” 

“No problem,” the boy confidently stated. “You’d just kill it if it tried anything. You can kill **anything**.” 

“Possibly, given enough time to prepare, though I would hardly bet my life on it, and much less yours. And I would also prefer not to go into single combat with any dragons, unless it absolutely cannot be helped.” He made a small grimace. “I’d hate for people to confuse me with some brainless storybook paladin, whose idea of ‘manliness’ is to charge blindly into battle, swinging a sword, and who thinks that strategy is for ‘sissies’.” 

“Oh, **paladins** ,” Edwin said, dismissing all holy knights with a brief wrinkle of his nose, trying to match his teacher in cool disdain but without quite achieving it. “That dragon would just chomp them all to bits. It has really big teeth, see?” He craned his neck backwards, peering up towards the impressive fangs, the smallest one being the length of a normal human’s arm. “Teacher Dekaras? You’re really good at climbing, right? Really, really good?” 

“Yes, Edwin,” the assassin said, without batting an eyelid. “I am. And no, I will not climb up there in order to fetch you a dragon fang for the tooth fairy.” 

“Awww….” 

“Only human teeth, boy. The tooth fairy doesn’t accept other currency, and trust me, I know.” 

The exhibition on the lost artifacts of Netheril turned out to be perhaps even more interesting than the other things Edwin had seen so far. There was a small model of one of the floating cities, which actually floated suspended in mid air, courtesy of a hovering charm. Tiny little illusionary people, the size of ants, scurried about on the streets, and Edwin watched them in fascination, his fingers itching. He really, really would have liked to pick up a few, but he was afraid he might squish them by mistake. Then he got immersed in reading a large sign about the lost Nether Scrolls, that held much of the strange powers of the ancient Netherese. There was an illusionary display set up beneath the sign, of wizards casting spells that made the earth heave and the sky rain fire, and many other things that Edwin couldn’t quite identify. He sighed with longing, flattening his nose against the glass case that contained the illusion. “One day…” he said. “One day, when I’m all grown up, and a Great Wizard, and a powerful adventurer, then I’ll go find all the Nether Scrolls, and I’ll be the most powerful wizard in the entire world, and I’ll make myself a really neat robe, with lots of sparkly things on, and enchant my eyes so they glow red.” 

“Glow red?” Dekaras said, raising an eyebrow. “Why?” 

“Because glowing eyes look really, really scary!” Edwin frowned, feeling his face. “I wish I could look scarier right now…maybe I could make myself look sort of snake-like! You know, with a forked tongue and no nose. Wouldn’t that be great?” 

“Actually,” his teacher told him, “I suspect your mother would raise certain objections if you turned yourself into a Yuan-Ti look-alike.” 

“But I’d be an Evil Overlord! Evil Overlords don’t have to pay attention to what their mothers say!” 

“And would you like to volunteer to inform her of that?” 

“Um…” 

“Not to mention that I certainly hope you weren’t thinking about not paying attention to what **I** say, Evil Overlord or not.” 

“No, Teacher Dekaras.” 

“Good,” the assassin said. “Because I doubt that a forked tongue would be very practical when it comes to certain tasks – such as devouring an ice cream.” 

Edwin’s eyes lit up. 

“Which,” Dekaras went on, “you will get the chance to do shortly, in order to strengthen yourself before the small quiz on the fall of Netheril that you will undergo later.” He gave Edwin an evaluating look along his nose. “I do hope you have been paying proper attention to everything you’ve seen so far and not lost yourself entirely in dreams of being a human snake.” 

Edwin nodded eagerly, anxious to show off his diligence. After all, Evil Overlords might be well and good, but ice cream was far more immediately satisfying. 

The ice cream turned out to be a delightful treat indeed, complete with whipped cream and cherry on top, and it was made even better by the empty space where his tooth had been. “Teacher Dekaras!” he proudly proclaimed. “Look, I can suck the ice-cream into my mouth through the hole, see?” 

“Oh yes,” Dekaras said, looking rather amused. “But you had better suck rather more quickly if you wish to eat it up before it melts completely. Besides, I thought you wanted to go into the gift shop, and they won’t let you take that dripping thing inside.” 

Edwin nodded and hurriedly gulped the rest of the ice-cream down. He had noticed the gift shop while they were buying his ice cream; or rather the magical sign advertising it, giving off glowing golden sparkles now and then. _There’ll be toys inside…and maybe some real spells and stuff…and I’ve got a whole gold to spend! I’m rich, I’m wealthy, I’m financially endowed! There’s bound to be lots of stuff I can buy there_. In one respect, the gift shop turned out to be everything Edwin could possibly dream of. There were miniatures of the enormous dragon skeleton, with or without fake skin. There were coloring books, and stuffed toys. _Although stuffed toys are only for little children of course. I don’t need any of those. Except for Mr Bobo. That’s different; he’d be upset if he didn’t get to sleep in my bed at night._ And there were rubber snakes, spiders, basilisks and bats, painted in hideously garish colors. Edwin was quite tempted by those, especially since he figured that he might be able to put a spell on the big fat and hairy spider to make it move for real. However, there was also a large barrel of replicas of various enchanted rings that drew his eyes. Fake gold, fake silver, fake platinum, with fake stones made from cut glass. Each ring had a small spell put on it, that could make it glow in the dark when you rubbed it, as well as turn your skin the same color as the stone on the top. Edwin stared longingly at a particularly ugly golden ring with a huge purple stone on top. Two gold, that was the price. One more than he had. “Teacher Dekaras?” he said, trying to sound as pleading as possible. Not that he thought it would do much good, but he did make his eyes as wide and soulful as he possibly could all the same. 

“Yes, boy?” the assassin said, turning away from his scornful examination of a set of fake daggers. 

“Well…I’d really, really, really like one of these rings, see? They can make you change color, and that is a really neat spell, it’s practically like the illusions I’m studying see, so it’s almost like doing homework, and since it is, I thought that maybe…er…that maybe you’d like to pay for half of it? Please? Please?” He put all he had into making his eyes as large and pleading as possible, but he knew it was a lost cause as soon as he saw the sardonic grin on his tutor’s face. With his mother it just might have worked, but… 

“A charming little performance,” Dekaras told him, “but I fear I cannot meet your request, as heartbreaking as it is for me to refuse your modest plea. You see, your parents think it’s important that you learn to manage money, and not simply have anything you point at.” He made a small grimace. “Or at least one of them does. At any rate, if you want one of these rings you will have to save money for it, and buy it at some later time.” 

Edwin sighed, his wonderful vision of himself in purple skin slipping away from him. “But if you don’t want to pay for it, couldn’t you just…you know…get it anyway? I know you could if you wanted to…” 

“No Edwin,” his teacher said in a low voice, bending down towards him. “And I will only say this once. I’m not stealing toys for you.” 

“But…” 

“I said no. Now either pick out something you can afford, or we will leave anyway.” 

Pouting at the unfairness of this, Edwin once again perused the rubber animals. Perhaps he should go for the snake after all. Or maybe the spider…or…wait. There was another rubber animal bunched up behind the others, a fat green frog with bulging eyes and a rather jolly smile on its face. It wasn’t exactly fearsome, not like the others, but as Edwin pressed down on its back he found that this made the frog take a large leap, right off the shelf and onto the floor. Giggling with delight he hurried after the toy, immediately seeing all the inherent possibilities in it. _I could hide somewhere with it, and then make it jump out and spook people! It’s not as good as a real Miniature Monster Wand, but it’ll still be lots of fun!_ He bent down, his fingers closing around the leg of the rubber frog. 

And then, seconds later, another small hand reached for the frog as well, tugging hard enough at it that Edwin almost lost his balance, and he found himself staring into the petulant face of a girl his own age. She had golden blonde hair done up in perfect ringlets, with a large pink bow on top of her head, and was wearing a short pink satin dress with so many lacy underskirts that it practically could have stood on its own. Her lips were painted pink too; something that Edwin thought looked really ridiculous, and the look on her face suggested that she had just bitten into a lemon. “Gimme that!” she demanded, in a whiny, complaining little voice. “I want it!” 

“Well, you can’t have it!” Edwin said. “I saw it first, so nyah!” 

“But I want it!” The girl’s face was turning an angry red by now, and she was stamping her foot. She still hadn’t let go of the frog either. “I’m gonna kiss it and turn it into a real prince, and then he’ll marry me and we’ll live happy ever after, forever and ever! AND I WANT IT SO YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE IT TO ME OR I’LL SCREEEEEAM!” She yanked at the leg of the rubber frog again. 

“You’re stupid,” Edwin stated, holding on to the frog. “And did you know that your face looks just like a raisin when you do that? A stupid, screaming raisin. Or like a shrunken head, we have some shrunken heads at home you know, Grandfather bought them on holidays in Maztica. And if you don’t shut up I’ll shrink yours, not that it could get much smaller…” 

“What’s going on here?” Edwin looked up at the sound of a booming voice coming from above, and found himself staring straight at a protruding stomach in a red wizard robe. It was crowned by an equally red and angry face, with a bald scalp tattooed with the image of a raging lion, baring its fangs and claws. The boy felt an uncomfortable lurch in his stomach as he recognized Rory ‘The Roarer’ Ravonar, Red Wizard and archenemy of the Odesseiron family, but he wasn’t about to let himself get intimidated by some fat old wizard and glared back as defiantly as he could. “You!” the wizard growled. “What are you doing with my poor little Zabina? How dare you steal the toy she has set her little heart on?” He hauled out a large handkerchief, embroidered with prancing lions, of his sleeve, and wiped his red and sweaty face with it. 

“Yeah!” Zabina triumphantly said. “You give me my frog at once, or Daddy will turn you inside out! He did that yesterday when my maid rumpled my dress, so there.” She yanked at the frog as hard as she could, and then shrieked. Edwin had let go of the rubber animal, and as he released his hold she flew backwards, crashing into the barrel of fake magical rings so that it toppled and spilled its contents over both children in a flashing rain of cheap metal. The shock caused her to lose hold of the frog as well, and it sailed through the air, green legs flailing unhappily. 

“Zabina!” Rory Ravonar yelled, rushing to aid his progeny. “Don’t you worry little angel, Daddy is here and I’ll turn that disgusting child into a second frog for you…” 

“Actually, you won’t,” a cool voice interrupted, and Edwin grinned triumphantly. His teacher was standing right behind him, holding the errant frog by one leg, and giving the wizard an extremely contemptuous look. He didn’t have any weapons out, but something about his stance, reminiscent of a coiled spring, hinted that they could be available in a heartbeat. “Raise your hand to the boy, sir, and the possession of that toy will be the very least of your worries.” 

“You!” Rory Ravonar snarled, his face a dark purple by now. Zabina was clinging to his legs, still whining loudly about how she ‘wants the frog and the bad boy can’t have it’. “You…again? Your employers may let you get away with acting above your station, but how dare you address your betters in such a fashion?” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of treating my **betters** with anything but the utmost respect,” the assassin said, and his voice almost resembled a purr. “Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be present at the moment.” He gave Edwin a considering look. “Boy, from what I overheard you have the first and best claim on that frog. Do you still want it?” 

Edwin nodded vigorously and scrambled to his feet, slipping a little on the scattered magical rings. “Yes, Teacher Dekaras! Very much!” 

“And you are quite sure you wouldn’t prefer the other specimen, the fat purple toad so cunningly outfitted in clothes so as to resemble a human being? Just look at those bulging eyes and the protruding veins…it almost looks alive, despite the imbecilic expression on its face.” 

Edwin looked at the sputtering Ravonar, and at the fat veins pulsating at his temples, not to mention his bloodshot eyes. The wizard was sweating even more profusely now, and he was clenching his handkerchief so hard it was practically dripping. “No, Teacher Dekaras,” Edwin said in as innocent a voice as he could muster. “The toad is too ugly, I prefer my frog.” 

“Well, that settles that,” Dekaras calmly said, tossing him the rubber animal. “Come along, Edwin, after we pay for this we should be getting home.” He inclined his head towards the enraged wizard and Zabina who was sobbing violently by now. “Good day to you, sir…young lady…and in case you were thinking of casting a spell or two, I should perhaps inform you that I am not hard of hearing and that a spell will do you no good unless you manage to finish it.” 

As Edwin followed his teacher towards the exit, he could hear Rory Ravonar’s furious voice echoing behind him. “You think you’re very clever, don’t you? Well, just you wait! You can inform Galen Odesseiron that I will utterly crush him at the Gardening Fair next week, and there is nothing whatsoever you can do about it! Ahahahah! Ahahahahaha!” 

Dekaras didn’t reply, but instead he inclined his head towards Edwin. “Bear this in mind, boy,” he said. “Maniacal laughter is not impressive, and will make you appear rather tacky. Always try for a sneer instead. Or better yet, something fatal.” 

Edwin immediately vowed to himself to practice in front of a mirror until he could perfectly mimic his tutor’s look of cold contempt. “Yes, Teacher Dekaras,” he said. “I’ll remember that!”


	3. A New Hobby

_I've given you sunshine  
I've given you dirt.   
You've given me nothing   
But heartache and hurt.   
I'm beggin' you sweetly.   
I'm down on my knees.   
Oh, please-grow for me! _

_‘Grow For Me’, Little Shop of Horrors_

Once he got home, Edwin retreated to his room, determined to pay some serious attention to his new toy. The frog proved to be just as entertaining as he had thought, and he amused himself for a good while with letting it hop about the room. Eventually he got tired of the game and stuck the frog in his pocket, planning to hide it in some amusing place later where an unsuspecting grownup might stumble across it. And then he felt his fingers touch something small, cold and round, something that definitely hadn’t been there when he left home. “What have I got in my pocket?” he said out loud, hauling the object out. It was a ring. A plain gold ring, with no stone and no markings on it. It felt heavy in his hand, heavier than it ought to have done. Edwin watched it in some puzzlement, wondering where the thing had come from. Then he understood. The ring must have been in that barrel in the museum shop, and it must have dropped into his pocket when the barrel felt over. 

_I suppose I stole it, in a way_ , he thought. _But that doesn’t really count, I didn’t even know it was there, so it’s not really stealing. If it was a magical ring I bet it was meant to come to me. I bet it did it on purpose, since it’s soon my birthday and everything_. He nodded to himself, content with this reasoning. Yes, the ring was obviously meant to be his birthday present. True, it wasn’t his birthday just yet, but that was just a minor detail, really. Besides, what was the alternative? Walking all the way back to the shop to return the thing? _Shouldn’t bother Teacher Dekaras with that, he has lots of important thing to do I’m sure. Anyway, he only said that he wouldn’t steal any toys for me, not that I couldn’t do it myself, so it’s not the same thing. Not that I did steal it. It came to me, so it’s my own_. Edwin smiled, watching the light glitter in the ring. True, it wasn’t as pretty as the one with the large purple stone, but it was still very nice and sparkly. _My own…my prec…pressi…precu…sparkly. Yessss…my sparkly._

While Edwin was carrying out this conversation with himself, his teacher had other things on his mind. Dekaras hadn’t wanted to show it in front of Rory Ravonar, but he was seriously concerned about what the wizard had said about a ‘gardening show’ in connection with his employer. Galen Odesseiron might be the son of a powerful Red Wizard, but he himself only just barely managed to qualify as **a** wizard, since he was such a scatterbrain, with a regrettable tendency to engage in different hobbies with maniacal glee. The hobbies always burned out fairly quick, but they could be incredibly damaging while they lasted. _Still_ , Dekaras thought, _gardening sounds relatively peaceful and harmless_. Then he thought of the different poisons and drugs that could be made from certain plants that he knew of. _Well, maybe not entirely harmless. But surely he wouldn’t be able to manufacture any such things. All the same, I had better look into this._

The gardens around the Odesseiron Mansion were large, considering that it was situated inside the city of Pyarados, and rather labyrinthine in their layout. There were luscious trees and beautiful flowerbeds, laid out so that there would always be colorful flowers blooming, except during the coldest season. Of course, in Thay winter was brief and not particularly cold at all, which meant that there were flowers for almost every time of the year. At the moment, the magnolia trees were swelling with heavy, pink and white blooms, and their scent hung sweet in the air. The gardens also contained several statues, sparkling fountains, gazebos and a hedge maze. At the center of the maze there was a small pond, its surface almost entirely covered with water lilies. _Perfect for frogs_ , Dekaras mused. _Edwin could probably catch some live ones if he tried, but if he prefers that ghastly rubber thing, then that’s his choice I suppose_. It was then that he heard sobs, miserable heart-rending sobs, as if somebody’s heart had just been shattered into a million pieces. He nodded to himself, and headed in the direction of the sound. It wasn’t long before he came across one of the gardeners, an elderly man with snowy white hair and skin as brown as a nut from being exposed to all sorts of weather, all year round. He was sitting despondently on a small stone bench, his shoulders shaking violently as he wept into his hands. Dekaras recognized the signs. 

“Good afternoon,” he said. “I presume Master Galen is close by?” 

At the mention of the wizard’s name the gardener’s sobs rose into a new crescendo, and he pointed with a trembling hand towards the direction of the maze, babbling something incoherent about orchids. 

_Poor man_ , the assassin thought as he left the broken man behind. _Dealing with Master Galen simply isn’t for everybody, I suppose_. He progressed into the maze, relieved that he had memorized the possible paths to the center long ago and was in no danger of getting lost. As he approached the center he could hear his employer’s cheerful voice coming towards him from behind the dense hedges. It seemed that he was talking to somebody, but there was no other voice to be heard. 

“Oh yes, aren’t you the loveliest little thing in the world!” the wizard said. “Such a pretty little one…and you’ll grow up big and strong and do Daddy proud, won’t you? Yes, of course you will!” 

Dekaras raised an eyebrow. This wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting. As he turned the corner, the first thing he spotted was the orchids. Beautiful white orchids, with delicate stems and curled petals. He recognized them too, they were apparently hideously expensive and Elvira had mentioned that she had been forced to order them specially, since they were so rare. They were moon orchids, and only opened up their petals entirely in moonlight, which was also the only occasion when their heady scent was apparent. Somebody had torn them out of the ground, and thrown them carelessly in a heap. The flowerbed next to the pond where they had grown was bare and empty, only black earth displayed. 

No. Not quite empty. There was one plant growing there, an extremely ugly one. It had thick and meaty leaves, the grayish-green color of mold, and a single, bulbous flesh-colored flower. The petals were mostly closed, and something about the way they pressed together reminded the assassin of a mouth, with thick and pouting lips. It bobbed gently on its stem, almost as if it was listening. Galen Odesseiron was kneeling in the dirt in front of the flower; heedless of the stains he was getting onto his robe, and was cooing delightedly to it. He was a skinny man, with constantly messy brown hair, and a permanent expression of friendly witlessness on his face. Right now, he was petting and stroking he flower. “Yes, you are a beauty!” he crooned. “Daddy’s own little girl, yes you are…” 

Dekaras cleared his throat. He didn’t really want to know what was going on, he suspected he would regret asking. Still, he felt he ought to find out, out of self-preservation if nothing else. “Master Galen? Would that have something to do with a certain Gardening Fair I’ve heard mentioned?” 

The wizard startled, then turned around, a cheerful grin on his face. “Why, there you are, old boy! The very person I wanted to see.” 

_This is bad_. “How so, sir?” 

“Why, to give me your impression on Elvira of course! And if you can find something for her to eat, so much the better, I think she’s hungry, and that puts her in a bad mood.” 

Dekaras tried to look at this sentence from a few different angles. It made a certain outward sense, and yet… Then he took a closer look at the plant, rubbing itself against Galen’s leg. It seemed to be growling quietly. “Sir?” he asked, somehow managing to keep his voice neutral. “Am I correct in presuming that you named that plant after your lady wife?” _She’ll tear his head off, if he is lucky. I’d better warn her to keep her temper._

“Why yes, my dear chap! I certainly did.” Galen beamed up at him, with the proud expression of a small puppy that has just left a steaming heap of poop on an expensive carpet and expects to be praised for its cleverness. “Though I suppose I really ought to call her ‘Elvira 2’, to avoid confusion. Isn’t she wonderful?” The plant hissed, and a few small tentacles emerged from between the petals, trying to reach the wizard’s fingers. 

“I have never seen anything like it, sir,” Dekaras said. “Truly. And would this by any chance have anything to do with a certain Garden Fair?” 

The wizard nodded happily. “Absolutely-dutely! The competition for Rare Magical Plants, you see. Since I’ve decided to make gardening my new hobby, I thought it would be the perfect way to show off my skills.” He smiled at Elvira 2 and stroked her petals, then yanked his fingers hastily out of the way as the flower snapped after them. “Gardening is such a perfect hobby, don’t you think? Growing pretty flowers that spread joy and happiness to everybody who sees them?” 

Dekaras looked at Elvira 2. The plant was pulsating slowly, and as the petals opened a little, he could see that there was an inner circle of smaller, white and sharp petals, that had a definite element of toothiness about them. “Quite so, Master,” he said. “And where, if I may be so bold to ask, did you come across this particular little bundle of joy?” 

“Oh, I bought her! And you’ll never guess who from!” 

Dekaras sighed inwardly. “I would presume that it was from Rory Ravonar, much as I would like to think myself mistaken,” he said. “Am I correct?” 

Galen’s mouth dropped slowly open, and his eyes went as wide as those of a small child watching a sleight of hand trick. “Why…you are a marvel!” he admiringly exclaimed. “How ever did you guess?” 

“Considering that he mentioned ‘utterly crushing’ you, it seemed a likely deduction to make, Master.” Dekaras gave Elvira 2 a skeptical look. The plant was snarling once again, and he took a step back to prevent it from reaching his feet. “You really shouldn’t trust him, you know. Hasn’t he proven time and again that he is an enemy?” 

“Oh, that,” Galen said, making a little dismissive wave with his hand. “Forgive and forget, that’s what I always say. I’m sure he isn’t such a bad chap deep down. I mean, he couldn’t be, not if he let me buy such a treasure as this, could he? I mean, we have to reach out a forgiving hand and trust our fellow humans, don’t you think?” 

Dekaras mulled this over for a few seconds. The words of the last sentence made sense taken one at a time, but putting them together in the suggested order turned them into utter incomprehensible gibberish. “Yes, Master,” he said. “I do, in fact, think. That is why I do not trust in people who have tried to counter me at every turn, not to mention have threatened myself or people I care about. It is your decision of course…but I hope you will not mind me keeping an eye on the proceedings, just in case?” 

“No, no, of course not! Whatever makes you happy!” Galen focused on Elvira 2 again, giving the ugly plant a worshipful look. “And now I must return to my work…I’ve heard that talking to flowers makes them grow bigger…would you mind getting those white flowers out of here? Elvira 2 doesn’t like them, they put her in a bad mood so I had to remove them…” 

Once the assassin had left, carrying away the sadly evicted orchids from their former home, Galen chatted amiably with his precious plant, not paying much attention to anything else. For a few seconds he wondered if he should have brought up the other matter he had discussed with Rory Ravonar. Then he dismissed his concerns. It wouldn’t matter, he was going to win the competition anyway, and so it wasn’t as if it could do any harm. Whistling happily, he went on with his gardening.


	4. A Bite To Eat

_Sure do, I'll drink it straight  
Don't need no glass or no ice   
Don't need no twist of lime   
And now it's suppertime! _

_‘Suppertime’, Little Shop of Horrors_

Edwin was quite surprised when he heard the gong calling him down for dinner. He’d been preoccupied with his magic ring for hours, and he hadn’t even noticed. As he tried to get to his feet he winced and almost fell due to a bad cramp in his leg. Apparently he should have shifted his position long ago, but had been too busy to notice. _I’m sure I can figure out what it does…how hard can it be?_ He’d tried rubbing the ring, turning it over and most recently spent an hour trying different words of command, all to no avail. _But I’ll get it right. Sooner or later, I will. I really wonder what it does…_ Edwin shook his head as the gong rang a second time. He’d been on the verge of drifting off again, lost in daydreams of wondrous magical powers, and this wouldn’t do at all. As fast as he could he pounded along the corridor, narrowly avoided toppling a large Kara-Turan urn, climbed atop the railing to the broad, curved marble staircase leading downstairs, and kicked off. He managed to get up to a really impressive speed this time, fast enough to beat his old record he thought, and then he was flying through the air, flying far higher than usual and… _Uh-Oh…I’m going to die, I’m going to die, I’m going to die…and then I’ll never figure out what that ring is for!_ The floor was rushing towards him, and he closed his eyes, preparing himself for the horrible sound of his neck snapping. 

Thud. 

Edwin’s breath wheezed out of his body as he collided with something solid, but thankfully not as devastatingly hard as the floor. His heart was pounding wildly, and his lungs were aching. 

“Trying to lose some more teeth, are we?” Dekaras remarked in an ominously mild voice as he set the still gasping boy down on the floor. “Please do try not to smear yourself all over the walls in the process. It would be such a shame on the wallpaper.” 

“Oh!” Edwin said. “Hello, Teacher Dekaras! Did you see me go? Did you **see** how fast I was? Did you? Did you?” 

“Indeed I did,” the assassin solemnly remarked. “You have a good sense of balance…but go more slowly in the future. One of these days I may not be there in time to catch you.” 

“All right,” Edwin readily agreed, but he didn’t feel too worried. His teacher would always be there to catch him, that was just the way it always had been and always would be. Imagining anything other was like imagining the sun had fallen out of the sky, that sort of thing simply didn’t happen. “Are you coming in for dinner?” 

“I don’t think so,” Dekaras said. “I need a word with your mother, and then I have some things to attend to.” 

“But I wanted you to see me eat my soup through the hole in my teeth…” 

“I would not dream of missing such a treat for anything in the world,” the assassin said, his voice utterly serious. “But it will have to wait for later, I’m afraid. Run along now…and no eavesdropping.” 

Edwin sighed a little about this, but he went obediently enough, and found his father already seated at the table, separated from him by a sea of white linen tablecloth, covered with exquisite bone china, silver cutlery and golden candlesticks. Galen was slowly picking some bread to pieces, while staring dreamily off into empty space with a preoccupied smile on his face. The boy felt his heart sinking. He recognized the signs, only too well. “Hello father,” he said, climbing onto his chair. It was quite a bit too tall for him, but he currently insisted on not using a footstool since that was for ‘babies’, and instead sat dangling his legs over the edge. 

“Huh?” the wizard said, his eyes gradually drifting into focus. “Oh, hello there, son! Do you happen to know anything about manure?” 

“Manure? What, like poop?” 

“Exactly!” Galen said, nodding enthusiastically. “Which kind do you think is best?” 

“Best?” 

“For gardening…I’m thinking maybe elephant, but I’m told that ogre has certain merits, and of course you simply can’t go wrong with dragon manure.” 

Edwin giggled. Manure wasn’t normally an allowed topic of conversation at dinner, and he was determined to take advantage of it. “Dragon poop!” he said. “Dragon poop, because then you could get a real dragon and get all the poop you want, and it could let me ride on its back and eat anybody who was rude to me, and…and poop on people from the air. Lots and lots of poop, enough to make them drown!” 

The door to the dining room clicked shut, there was the rustle of a dress behind him and a whiff of perfume, and Edwin startled guiltily at the sound of his mother’s voice. “Edwin, my sweetling…what have we said about the sort of words allowed at dinner?” He winced, and turned around to face her, noticing with some trepidation that her dark eyes were already flashing dangerously, that she was tapping one foot against the floor and had her arms crossed across her chest. She was wearing a cream-colored dress that Edwin thought made her look very pretty, and she even had a couple of white flowers braided into her hair. _Ouch…I think she’s mad._

“Er…father asked me about manure,” he eventually said. 

“I see,” his mother said, her lips pressing tightly together as she glared at her husband. Then she sat down, with short, sharp movements that told Edwin it would be a very bad idea to contradict her in any way at the moment. “All the same, darling, you really ought to know better. I know you can be a little gentleman if you only want to, isn’t that right?” 

“Yes mother,” Edwin hastily said, nodding. He didn’t add that he didn’t particularly want to be a little gentleman. It seemed far better to hold his tongue for now. _Gentlemen are boring. When I’m a really great wizard, then I’ll say and do whatever I like. And if anybody says anything I don’t like, I’ll blow them all up with my powerful magic!_ He thought about that for a moment. _Except Teacher Dekaras of course. And mother and father…and Auntie Poppy. But anybody who’s mean to me, anyway. And I’ll go on adventures, and see strange monsters and magical places, maybe even other planes, and I’ll have lots and lots of magical robes and wands and stuff, but no concubines, ‘cause girls are icky, and then…_

“So, my husband. You named a plant after me.” 

Edwin blinked. He’d been so immersed in his daydream that he’d hardly noticed the conversation that was taking place around him. Now he looked up to find his mother regarding his father, her face ominously blank, while she gently fingered a carving knife. 

“Why yes, dearest!” Galen said. “Elvira 2…and what a beauty she is too! I’ve cleared a spot for her in the maze. I’m going into gardening, you see.” 

“Yes, so Master Dekaras informed me.” Edwin crouched down a little in his chair as he watched his mother admiring her long and perfectly manicured blood red nails. “He managed to reassure me that you will not tear up any more of my plants without asking first…and also advised me to remember that you meant well. Isn’t that so?” 

“Ah…of course, my sweet. As you like it.” 

“Good. Just remember that. I really don’t want to lose my temper with you.” She fingered the white blooms in her hair. “I don’t approve of you buying things off Rory Ravonar, but I have taken a look at the…flower…myself, and there don’t seem to be any unpleasant curses attached to it, so I suppose it will be alright. But can’t you at least **try** to avoid talking to him? The man is trouble, and you ought to know it by now.” 

“Oh, I’m sure he’s not as bad as all that…but I won’t be talking to him if you don’t want me to, dearest.” 

“Good.” 

“Apart from when the time comes to settle the bet, of course.” 

The carving knife dropped to the table, and Edwin saw his mother’s black eyebrows descend in a frown that hinted at an approaching eruption. “What…bet…was…that?” she asked. 

“Just a little thing, my sweet. He wanted to bet against me about which one of us would do best in the Rare Magical Plants competition, and he was very gracious too and offered me ten thousand to be collected upon winning…” 

“Did he now? And just what did you offer him?” 

Edwin had jumped off his chair by now and was slowly backing away from the table. It really wasn’t a good idea to be very close to Mother when she spoke in that tone of voice. Things tended to blow up. He winced as he saw his father cheerfully carry on, oblivious of approaching doom. 

“Just a tiny thing, really…I’m sure Master Dekaras won’t mind…” 

“Mind what, Master?” The assassin stepped out of the shadows around one of the tall windows, almost as if the mere mention of his name had caused him to materialize inside the room. 

“Well, he was very admiring of your capabilities, you know. So I bet him…well, you know how your contract stipulates that you are in the employ of this family and available for work where directed? He pointed it out to me, and he was so very persuasive…and I’m going to win anyway, no problem, so there really is nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about at all…” 

“Do go on, Master,” Dekaras said, and by now Edwin half expected to see shards of ice dropping from his lips. “You know I so like to keep informed about matters regarding myself. And call me paranoid if you will, but this **is** something regarding me, is it not?” 

“I suppose you could say that…not that it will ever happen, don’t worry, but I did bet him your services for half a year…he said it was completely legal…and like I said, there is no risk of it ever happening because with me taking care of her and chatting with her Elvira 2 will win me the competition without a doubt, so don’t worry…” 

“Well now,” the assassin said, in an almost conversational tone of voice. He approached the table and bent down towards his employer. “How kind of you to consider my feelings on the subject, Master. Not to mention rating me so highly…ten thousand gold for being sold into indentured slavery…my, that is flattering. Why, that is almost as much as you would have to pay for a really fine racehorse. And now, if you will excuse me, I must see about buying myself a collar and chain in order to get properly used to them. Enjoy your meal.” With that parting remark, he stalked out of the room, not looking back, and closed the door very carefully behind him. 

“I think he did worry after all,” Galen said with a little nervous smile that did nothing to mollify his wife’s temper. 

“You,” she snarled, “had better practice your gardening very hard, husband. Because if you lose this bet, I will turn you into manure.” 

Edwin had been listening with horror to the exchange, and now he leapt off his chair, almost falling. “You can’t do this!” he screamed at his father. “It’s…it’s not fair! I…I…I won’t let **you** see me eat through the hole in my teeth!” He kicked the chair hard enough to make it fall to the floor with a loud bang, and then raced out the door, his eyes already filling with angry tears. He knew for certain that you weren’t supposed to hate your own father, and that made him feel guilty on top of everything else. He just had to get away, or he knew he would burst. So he ran, more or less blindly, into the twilight of the garden. His eyes were burning and tear-filled, and he had very little idea where he was going. _It’s not right. It’s not_. There and then he decided that if his teacher had to go away, then he’d go too. _I’ll run away, and I’ll never come back. Never ever._ He wiped angrily at his eyes, and then looked up. The entrance to the maze lay before him. Edwin watched it for a moment. Then his eyes narrowed in thought, and after a few moments he headed into the labyrinth, a cunning plan spinning through his head. 

It took him some time to reach the center of the maze, but eventually he made it there. For a brief fleeting moment he entertained the thought of splashing about in the shallow pond, but then he spotted the plant. Elvira 2 was extremely ugly, Edwin thought. Fat and bloated, and the way it moved was spooky. There was no wind, but the flower still swayed gently from side to side, and as he approached it the plant turned towards him. It almost seemed to be watching him, except that was silly since it had no eyes. “I hate you,” Edwin whispered, glaring at the plant. He was very tempted to tear the thing up with the roots, killing it, except that would make his father lose the bet, and that would be disastrous. “I’ll show you…you’ll see!” He took a deep breath, and then spat at the plant, aiming through the hole in his teeth in a highly satisfactory manner. The little wet noise as the spittle hit Elvira 2 was a small balm to his soul. “Ha!” the boy said. “Fear me, you ugly old carrot! Just you wait, as soon as the competition is over I’ll toss you on the garbage heap!” 

There was a sudden hiss, and the plant moved. Edwin’s eyes widened with surprise as he saw the petals unfolding. There was a smaller row of petals within them, small and white. Also very sharp. And there was something moving in the center, like an extending tongue. Suddenly alarmed, he took a hasty step backwards, and tripped over his own feet. The plant hissed again, and it was growing, the stem extending towards him at a frightening pace. Then the tongue-thing wrapped itself around his ankle, pulling hard, and the white petals grazed his leg, bringing a searing pain. Frantically he tried to free himself, but to no use, and his foot was being pulled steadily towards the dark maw of the flower. 

Something blurred through the air, and Elvira 2 hissed again, but this time with pain rather than hunger. The plant was knocked aside by a powerful kick, and the stem withdrew into its normal position while the petals curled protectively inwards. Edwin just had time to glimpse a few dark stains on the retracting tongue before it disappeared into its previous hiding place. Then he clutched his leg, trying hard not to cry. 

“I thought I saw you come in here,” Dekaras said as he knelt by the child, hastily examining the extent of the damage. “And a fortunate thing it was that I did. That weed could easily have taken your leg off, or worse. At least it doesn’t look too deep. Can you stand?” 

Edwin tried, then nodded, not trusting himself to speak yet. 

“Good,” the assassin said. “I think I’d better dose you up with some antidotes though, just in case that thing was poisonous.” He gave Elvira 2 a hostile look. “A shame I have to leave it alone. But it cannot be helped.” 

“Teacher Dekaras?” Edwin said, once he finally found his voice. 

“Yes, boy?” 

“What father said…you’ll be all right, won’t you?” 

His teacher was silent for a few seconds, his face hidden by the rapidly deepening shadows. “Certainly I will,” he said. “Don’t trouble yourself over it.” 

“All right,” Edwin promised, but in his heart of hearts he knew he was lying. _But I do worry. I’m sorry…but I can’t stop_. Then however, he thought of something infinitely more pleasant, and his face lit up. “Teacher Dekaras? Did you see me spit through the hole in my teeth?” 

The assassin shook his head gravely. “I fear not,” he said. “I was a little preoccupied with trying to keep you from being eaten.” 

“Oh. Want me to show you then? I’m sure I could do it again. And if I could lose another tooth then maybe I could fire two spitballs at once! And the tooth fairy would bring me more money too…say, d’you think those petal things would count as teeth?” 

“Possibly,” Dekaras said, firmly grasping his hand. “And no, don’t even think of trying to extract them unless you plan to grow up to become known as Edwin ‘Stumps’ Odesseiron. Ten fingers may seem excessive to you, but trust me when I say that you would miss even a single one. Come now, I want to see to those antidotes…” 

Edwin obediently followed, and shortly the center of the maze was still and silent once more. In the darkness, leaves spouted and roots strengthened. Elvira 2 was growing.


	5. Simulacra

_Don't you talk to me about old King Kong  
You think he's the worst, well, you're thinkin' wrong   
Don't talk to me about Frankenstein   
He got a temper, ha! He ain't got mine _

_‘Mean Green Mother From Outer Space’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

Elvira Odesseiron was angry. No, scratch that. She was enraged, and she wanted very much to destroy anything or anybody in her path. The wizardess rapidly strode through the hallways of the Odesseiron Mansion, and any servant who happened to see her took care to get out of her way very quickly. _Galen has gone too far this time. How dare he do such a thing!_ While she did not love her husband, at least she was usually able to tolerate him. But right now she didn’t trust herself to look upon his stupid, insipidly cheerful face without attempting to make his head explode. _Galen had better win that stupid bet of his. And even if he doesn’t, I will not let him place my Wolf in danger._ She ground her teeth as she thought of in what kind of mood her beloved would most likely be right now. _At least he went to see to Edwin, that should keep him from brooding too badly. And I’ll have to have a word with him later, to make certain he is holding up all right_. She wasn’t quite certain whether she meant her lover or their child. Both, probably. 

Eventually she grew tired of her wandering, and she returned upstairs, heading for her bedroom. Not for the first time she was extremely grateful that she didn’t share a room with her husband, and hadn’t done so for several years. The thought of Galen brought her rage back in full flower, and having passed through the door she slammed it violently shut behind her, hard enough that it trembled in the doorframe. She turned around, searching for something deserving of destruction, and then she froze in her tracks, staring. 

The room was mostly dark, except for the lacy white curtains about the bed. In the moonlight filtering in through the windows they shimmered, almost transparent. Her nightgown was lying on the pillow, partially covered by the deep red bedspread. Except the bedspread wasn’t red any longer. It was completely hidden by a sea of white orchids, the ones that her miserable excuse for a husband had torn up in order to make way for his hideous plant. Their scent hung in the air, sweetly intoxicating, and she took a deep breath, letting it fill her lungs. As she approached the bed she reached down and gently touched one of the flowers, stroking the velvet soft petals. 

“You will have to get rid of them before tomorrow of course,” a smooth voice said behind her, and she felt an arm about her waist, pulling her closer. “But I thought you might appreciate them all the same.” 

Elvira turned around, sliding into her lover’s embrace. A small smile crossed her lips as she craned her head backwards, looking into his face. “You know that I do, my Wolf,” she said. “They are perfect, not that I would ever expect less from you.” 

“I aim to please, my Mistress,” he said in a dry voice that was contradicted by the intense look in his eyes. “You know that it is my fondest desire to serve you in whatever capacity you may require of me.” 

“Unless it involves me trying to make you wear that adorable costume with the lace on that I bought you.” 

“That goes without saying.” 

Elvira smiled again, and she cradled her lover’s face between her hands, pulling it down until his lips met hers. “Where is Edwin?” she asked once they finally came apart again. “Was he badly upset?” 

The assassin nodded. “He was, but he’s mostly calmed down now. I put him to bed before coming here – taking the opportunity to inform him that I want him to stay away from that ghastly plant before he gets seriously hurt. It seems to be some kind of meat-eater, and it’s deadly.” 

“And just how upset are **you** , my Wolf?” She kept her eyes firmly trained on his, watching. Black eyes, black as midnight, they were impenetrable shields against the world. Yet she knew his every mood too well not to recognize the fleeting look of pain when she saw it. _If I had Galen in front of me now, he wouldn’t outlive the night_. “Ah…I thought so. My husband is an unthinking fool, as we both know, but he does not act as he does out of malice.” 

“I know that,” her lover said, and the feigned look of indifference on his face would probably have fooled most other people. Not her though. “And I am perfectly fine.” 

She snorted briefly, and pulled him onto the bed along with her. Curled up behind him, she made a show of carefully rubbing the tense muscles around his neck. She made a mental note of moving onto his back next, just as soon as she could get his clothes off. Not only would it help him relax, it would also give her a marvelous opportunity to have her way with him. “Liar. You are as tense as a bowstring. But do not worry; we will ride this storm out yet. I am not letting Rory Ravonar get his claws into you, no matter what. However, since that contract could create all sorts of problem for us if he does take it to court, I think the best thing we can do is to take a very active interest in gardening. If that hideous thing that Galen dotes on wins the contest, then our problems will be over. But even if it does not, I will not abandon you to the mercies of that fat old bastard Ravonar. You know that.” 

He sighed almost imperceptibly, and she could feel him relaxing under her hands, at least a little bit. “Yes,” he admitted. “I know. But it would be too dangerous for you to challenge him openly, since that could bring the Tharchion onto his side. I can’t let you put yourself at risk for me like that – much as I appreciate it.” 

“I’ll do whatever I want, my foolish love,” Elvira whispered, and took the opportunity to press herself firmly against his back. “And I would risk the world for you. But as you say, it would be better if we could avoid it. So I say we should both take an interest in gardening from now on and until the contest is over.” 

“Certainly. Just as long as you don’t expect me to shovel manure…” 

-*- 

The following morning found Edwin sitting in his bed, once again very much preoccupied with his magical ring. If only he could figure out how to activate it, and what to do with it, then he was bound to gain vast magical power. _And then I can make Father win his stupid contest, and then Teacher Dekaras won’t have to go and live with that stupid Zabina girl. I bet he’d hate that_. Edwin certainly didn’t like the idea either. The mere thought of it was enough to make him furiously redouble his efforts. Unfortunately, so far they had all been in vain. “I just don’t get it, Mr Bobo,” he complained to his stuffed bear. “It’s magical, I know it is. There has to be some way of making it work. What do you think?” 

The black bear lazily yawned, then scratched its rounded belly. It clumsily ambled over to the boy and onto his lap, wrapping its fuzzy arms around his waist. Edwin smiled and briefly hugged the toy back. He knew he was a big boy now, perhaps too big to sleep with a stuffed animal in bed, but right now he didn’t care. _Besides, Mr Bobo would get sad if I didn’t let him sleep in my bed anymore_. Then he noticed that the bear was pointing its paw at the fireplace on the other end of the room, in a very meaningful way. 

“Oh, come on!” Edwin said. “That’s such an old trick, isn’t it?” _But then again…if the ring is really old…_ Eager to try his theory out, the boy jumped out of bed. A simple cantrip later a fire was burning merrily in the fireplace and he was ready to try his theory out. With a dramatic gesture, he threw the ring directly into the fire. Only when the smoke turned green and started billowing out into the room did it occur to him that anything might happen to a magical ring tossed into a fireplace. It could melt for example. Or…explode. “Uh Oh…” Edwin whispered, and then he hastily grabbed his bear and dived under the bed, coughing violently. Then there was a bright flash, and the ring was rolling across the carpet towards him. He watched, transfixed, as it spun round and round on the floor before it finally fell down. And there was writing inside it, fiery letters in a curly script. Edwin didn’t really know a lot of Ancient Netherese despite his newfound interest in Netheril, but he’d managed to pick up at least a few words. He could just make out a few of them. Power…united…stand…to activate…command word ‘splice’. Now he was really getting somewhere! He felt certain he’d be able to use the ring now, all he apparently had to do was say the Netherese word for ‘splice’. True, he still wasn’t exactly sure what it did, but he was sure he’d find out soon enough. _And translating stuff is boring, I’ve studied enough. I want to be a Great Wizard right now! I’ll summon lots and lots of monsters, and I’ll get myself a pet dragon, and I’ll make father win his stupid competition so that Teacher Dekaras doesn’t have to go away and live with that stupid girl with the raisin face and I bet he’ll be really proud of me then_. The thought of just how pleased his tutor would be with him decided it. As soon as the ring had cooled down again, Edwin stuck it on his finger, then said ‘Splice!’ in Ancient Netherese before he had time to change his mind. 

Edwin felt an odd, lurching sensation in his stomach, as if it was being drawn out into a long string and then curled around itself. He burped loudly, seeing stars in front of his eyes, and then sank onto his hands and knees. Eventually, the strange feeling went away. "Whoa…" he breathed, blinking as he tried to clear his head. "That was really weird. I wonder what it did?" 

"Hey!" The voice that addressed him was childish, almost babyish, and very petulant too. "Where did you come from? And what are you doing in my room?" 

"What do you mean your room?" Edwin indignantly asked, turning towards the voice. "This is **my** …room…" Then he fell silent, staring in amazement. Next to him on the floor sat another boy, one who looked exactly like Edwin himself in every detail, from his dark hair and eyes to the newly acquired hole in his teeth. The other boy did stick his nose into the air in a really annoying manner though, as if he thought he was very superior to Edwin. _And that's just stupid, because whoever he is, clearly I'm better than he is. At anything_. "Who are you?" Edwin accusingly asked. 

"I," the other boy haughtily said, "am Edwin Mordred Alexander Odesseiron, only heir of the Odesseiron family, which is the greatest family in Thay, and I'm a really Great Wizard too, so you'd better watch yourself." 

"No you're not!" Edwin retorted, glaring back at the intruder. "Because I am Edwin Odesseiron, and I don't know who you are, but you're in my room, and unless you get out right now I'll…I'll turn you into a newt and keep you in a glass jar until I grow bored with you. Don't you dare mess with me and my awesome powers of prestigi…press…preggi…magic, not unless you want to eat flies for the rest of your life." 

"Ha!" the other boy sneered, in a condescending way that Edwin really loathed. "You wouldn't dare. If you try to hurt me, my Teacher Dekaras will get really angry, and then you'll be sorry. Only not for very long." 

That did it. "That's a lie!" Edwin snarled, raising his fists, for once completely oblivious of spellcasting. "He's not yours! He's mine! Take that back!" 

"Never!" the other boy said, still wielding that annoying little sneer. _Stupid, spoilt brat. I hate him_. "Mine!" 

Edwin had had enough by far. With a scream of rage he threw himself at the other boy, fully intending to pound his head against the ground until he took every lying word back. However, his opponent had other ideas, and turned out to be exactly matched to Edwin, with identical strength, speed and capacity for dirty tricks. After an intensive session of snarling, spitting, cursing, pounding, hair pulling and biting, they both collapsed onto the floor next to each other, breathing heavily. Edwin carefully massaged his aching right eye…it felt very tender and swollen, and he thought it was probably turning black already. In all fairness, he'd managed to do just the same to the other boy's left one though, and their nosebleeds seemed about equal. "There…" he panted. "That…that…should show you." 

"Ha! I…I won! Just you…just you be happy you don't deserve to get pounded by my magnificent magic and turned into a heap of charcoal." 

"As if you could," Edwin dismissed him, working himself into a sitting position. "You don't have any such spell memorised, and I know it." 

"No you don't!" 

"Yes I do! Because I figured out what you are." Edwin triumphantly raised his hand, where the gold ring still gleamed. "I summoned you. And you are a copy of me…a Simulacrum. I've read all about them." He frowned. "Except I'm sure that a Simulacrum should be a perfect copy in every way, so I don't see how you could be so annoying…" 

"I'm not annoying, you are!" 

"Yes you are…but never mind that, I'm sure it's just because of some small flaw in the spell. If I'd created it I'm sure I would have done it much better. Anyway, I'm calling you 'Edwin 2'." 

"Why do I have to be 'Edwin 2'?" the copy resentfully asked. "I want to be Edwin 1!" 

"You can't be, I'm Edwin 1 because I was here first. I'm the original, and I can prove it!" Edwin proudly pointed at the ring he was wearing. "See? This is the mysterious Netherese artifact I used to summon you." 

"Oh really?" Edwin 2 said, with an annoying little smirk. For some odd reason, Edwin was suddenly reminded of his tutor, and how he would look when he'd just got the better of somebody. "Well, take a look at this." The copy raised his own hand, displaying a ring identical to the one Edwin himself wore. "And now take a look at this." The copy spoke a single word, there was a flash of light, and Edwin 2 blurred momentarily. Then, there was suddenly yet another boy sitting on the floor, looking confused. 

"Who…what are you?" said Edwin 3, watching his two predecessors accusingly. "And what are you doing in my room?" 

Edwin sighed. It seemed to him that things were rapidly getting out of hand. "We're you," he said. "Sort of. And it's a pretty long story…"


	6. Growing Pains

_I've given you southern exposure  
To get you to thrive.   
I've pinched you back hard,   
Like I'm s'posed ta.   
You're barely alive.   
I've tried you at levels of moisture   
From desert to mud.   
I've given you grow-lights   
And mineral supplements.   
What do you want from me- Blood? _

_‘Grow For Me’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

While Edwin was explaining his attempts at genetic duplication to Edwin 3, his tutor had a worrying experience of his own. Dekaras was down in the garden and his mood as he watched his employer cooing and clucking over Elvira 2 like a hen over its chicks was very dark indeed. 

"Oh, would you look at that!" Galen gushed, stroking the ugly plant. "Look at Daddy's good girl…she's almost twice as big as yesterday, isn't it marvellous?" 

"It certainly is unexpected," Dekaras said, glaring at the plant. Elvira 2 poked a few tendrils out past her fleshy petals, almost looking as if she was laughing him in the face. In a sense it was good that the thing was growing of course, it wasn't as if he particularly wanted to be forced into Rory Ravonar's service, and a healthy, vigorous Elvira 2 should make it easier to avoid such a dreadful fate. However, he still didn't like the plant, nor did he trust it one bit after its attack on Edwin. In fact, that attack made him have some very nasty suspicions about the reason for the sudden growth spurt. "If I may be so bold as to ask, Master…did you water this thing late last night, after dinner? Or perhaps give it some plant food, or cast a spell on it?" 

Galen blinked. "Why…no. Though now that you mention it, I'm sure some applied magic would be very helpful! Thank you so much for suggesting it, I will go and look some things up at once!" He rushed off, his robes flapping against his legs and his hair sticking out in all directions. 

Dekaras sighed quietly. He hoped his employer wouldn't manage to do too much damage with his magic - not that there was a high risk of that. Anyway, he didn't really think that it was magic as such that had caused the unnatural sudden growth. Not when there was another, more sinister source of nourishment that he knew for certain that Elvira 2 had been supplied with. Blood. _That…thing…may not have managed to do Edwin any serious harm, but it did manage to draw blood. And then, it grew. Given that there is no other obvious cause, the connection seems a likely one. What to do about it though? Keep Edwin far away from the thing, of course, as much as possible. But apart from that? I wonder…yes, some applied gardening seems to be prudent here. I think I know just the thing to do, too._

About twenty minutes later, any casual onlooker who had wandered into the Odesseiron gardens would have been treated to an unusual sight. Granted, a man carrying a watering pail isn’t all that unusual in a garden. But this particular tall man in black didn’t look much like your regular gardener. Nor did he seem particularly fond of the writhing plant on the ground in front of him, judging from the evil glare he aimed at it. And then there was the matter of what was inside the watering pail… 

“Come on out, boy,” Dekaras said, not turning around. He had heard the little noises in the bushes behind him for a minute or two now, and thought it best to acknowledge them. Otherwise, Edwin would only get overexcited and likely get himself into trouble. “You can help me, if you like, as long as you do exactly as I say.” 

“I can?” Edwin eagerly said, popping his head out from behind a hedge. “What are you doing? Are you watering Father’s plant? You shouldn’t have to do that, that’s the gardener’s job, isn’t it? Is that blood you’re feeding it? Did you kill somebody just to get it?” 

“To answer your questions,” the assassin replied, still not taking his eyes off Elvira 2, which was snarling and hissing as it devoured the blood. “Yes, I am watering it. No, I don’t have to do that, but I prefer to take an active hand in matters concerning my own welfare. Yes, it is blood, and no, of course I didn’t kill a person simply in order to get it. It comes from the pig.” 

“What pig?” 

“The pig you will be having for dinner tonight, along with gravy and roast plums I believe. Pigs are fairly close to humans in terms of anatomy – hopefully it will be close enough.” 

“Oh…” Edwin said, looking a little dejected. “Poor pig. I wish it could have been some mean person instead. Somebody pig-like.” 

“Edwin, there are many reasons why you may want to kill somebody, but believe me when I say that using them for plant food is not one that I approve of. Now try to curb your bloodlust a little and help me tilt this thing – but mind that you stay well back from the plant.” As the boy approached, Dekaras watched carefully to make certain Edwin was out of Elvira 2’s reach, and it wasn’t until they were almost done that he felt able to relax enough to pay attention to other matters. “Edwin? What happened to your face?” 

The boy’s hand immediately rose to touch his black eye, and he looked suddenly very guilty about something. “Oh…this? Er…nothing! Nothing at all!” 

“Did somebody hit you?” the assassin asked, and his voice took on the dangerous note that made grown men try to remember if they had updated their wills recently. “Who was it? Tell me, and I will be only too happy to deal with them.” 

“Nobody, really, I promise!” Edwin hastily said. “I mean, I did it myself. Really!” 

“Hmmm…” Dekaras said. He could usually tell exactly when Edwin was lying, and he didn’t get quite that sense right now. And yet, he also felt certain that the boy hadn’t told him the entire truth. _Clearly he is up to something. I will have to find out exactly what, but it must wait for later. For now, let him believe that he has got away with it._ “Very well,” he simply said. “I will take your word for it. I hope you will not disappoint me.” The way the boy squirmed at that was very telling indeed. _Yes, definitely up to something. Perhaps I should search his room later, to make certain he isn’t attempting to hatch basilisks under his bed again…_

-*- 

Not long after the assassin and they boy had left the garden, Elvira 2 got her next visitor. Her namesake stood watching the plant for a little while, her painted lips twisted into a contemptuous sneer. “I will aid you for now, weed,” Elvira said a in a low voice. “And if you know what is good for you, then you will grow healthy and strong, and you will win my husband’s foolish bet for him. If you do not…why, then I believe I will want a nice, hot fire in my bedroom, to cheer me up, and I will be searching these gardens for fuel. Do we understand each other?” 

Elvira 2 hissed a little, tendrils writhing angrily. “Good,” Elvira said, and her smile was completely without mirth. “Then you may have what you want.” She spoke a few arcane syllables, threw a small scrap of raw meat on the ground, and made some gestures over it. After a few seconds, a dark fluid began to seep from the meat, gushing towards the plant. _Dependable old Seeping Blood spell_ , Elvira thought. _When was it I last used that one…oh yes. When I wanted to terrorize Aunt Devanna into terminating her Solstice visit early. Better hope my darling baby never learns it, or he’d probably ruin all the carpets_. She watched for a few moments, until the stream of blood dried up, and then she nodded to herself, feeling satisfied. “Remember what I told you,” she coldly informed Elvira 2. “I will hold you to it.” Then she left, still smiling. Whoever said that talking to plants helped them grow, might actually be onto something. 

After Elvira had left, there were a few moments of silence. Then, a small boy, with dark hair and a big bruise covering his left eye, peeped out from behind a hedge. “Wow…” he whispered. “That is so great…I bet I can do it too, and then I will be the one who’ll make sure Teacher Dekaras gets to stay here. And I’ll be Edwin 1 too, as I should be, since I’m obviously the better of us.” He ran off again, heading for the kitchen. There’d be bound to be some meat around there. 

Galen Odesseiron arrived about ten minutes later, huffing and puffing with exertion since he was dragging a large wheelbarrow. He stopped in front of Elvira 2, and smiled broadly as he wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his robe and smoothed his disorderly brown hair back. “I’m back, little one!” he gushed. “Daddy’s got some very special stuff, for his very special little girl…just you wait!” From the wheelbarrow, he took a large cage, one containing about a dozen very nervous pixies. “Now then,” Galen told them. “Sing as nicely as you can, and I will let you out afterwards.” The pixies sang, a piping, screeching little song. After a little while, Elvira 2 began to nod and sway in time with the music. “Oh yes, very good!” Galen said, beaming at the plant. “Dance for Daddy, that’s a good girl!” Once he was satisfied, he opened the cage, and walked off, whistling cheerfully. The confused pixies fluttered about for a while, uncertain about where to go. Before they had the time to fly off, a shadow loomed above them. There was a swift movement, and several brief squeals, and then silence. Elvira 2 let her tendrils slowly stroke her fleshy petals, wiping away a small bit of pixie wing that was stuck to them. She was humming softly to herself – and she was growing. 

Edwin spent the afternoon with his two clones. He had sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister – why, he had even wished for a little brother or sister as a Solstice present more than once, but still not received one. Now he was rapidly reaching the conclusion that if the potential sibling was going to be anything like the clones, then he’d much rather be an only child. Edwin 2 and Edwin 3 were so incredibly annoying that he wanted to make them disappear back to wherever they had come from, and never see them again. They were so…so loudmouthed! And they kept boasting all the time, and they seemed to think they knew everything about everything, even when it was obvious they didn’t. Edwin sighed. _There must have been something wrong with the spell. Those two are nothing like me_. He desperately tried to calculate how long the spell might last, but this was made a little difficult by Edwin 2 loudly reciting all his many splendid accomplishments, including a long list of difficult spells. Edwin was sure his counterpart had to be lying about those. After all, **he** didn’t know Powerword Kill, and so it was absolutely impossible that this inferior replica of him might. And Edwin 3 wasn’t any better. He was currently explaining how he had spotted their father instructing Elvira 2 in music, and suggesting that all three Edwins should go out and try the same. “Or perhaps only me,” Edwin 3 said. “After all, I have a perfect singing voice, unlike you lot, I’m sure. You would probably only make her wither.” 

“Go ahead and try it,” Edwin said, glaring at his clone. “I think you should stick your stupid head right close to her too, so she can hear you properly.” _And with any luck she’d bite it off, and I’d be rid of him_. At least the copies had agreed that three Edwins were enough, and that they shouldn’t make any more for the moment. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Edwin 2 said, once again with that annoying little smirk. “He is only trying to trick you. That is really so path…pathet…pethi…stupid. Which probably explains why **Edwin 1** thinks anybody would fall for it. He thinks everybody is as simple as he is.” 

“I am not simple!” Edwin angrily protested. His eyes were fixed on the pearly white teeth of his antagonist, and although he remembered what his teacher had said earlier, he still felt tempted to try to collect some. _Even if the Tooth Fairy won’t take them, at least it would serve him right_. “I’m the original around here, and you are just the stupid copy!” 

“Ha! I’m the refined Edwin, so there! You are only the rough first draft!” 

“You are both hopeless,” Edwin 3 calmly remarked. He was lying on top of Edwin’s bed, his foot resting against his knee, and it was swaying gently back and forth in time with some music only he could hear. “You don’t understand music at all. And you’re both ugly, just look at you with those black eyes of yours. Now, I on the other hand have a perfect face. Should be easy enough for our parents to choose which one of us to keep…” 

“Maybe I’ll just remodel that so-called perfect face for you!” Edwin snarled, thoroughly enraged with the casual arrogance of the simulacrum. 

“There won’t be enough of you left to keep in a shoe box!” Edwin 2 simultaneously stated, and then pandemonium was well under way, as all three boys came together in a hissing, spitting, clawing and biting ball of fury. Edwin managed to get out of it relatively unscathed this time, except for a few minor scratches, but Edwin 3 was less lucky. 

“By dose!” he wailed, tears streaming down his face and mixing with the blood gushing out of his nose. “I thidk you broke by dose!” 

“Serves you right,” Edwin 2 muttered. He was lying curled up on the floor, rubbing his tender ribs. 

“And don’t be such a baby,” Edwin chimed in. “It’s not broken, it’s only a nosebleed. Can’t you at least pinch your nose shut; you’re bleeding all over my stuff! Look at poor Mr Bobo, he’s getting all sticky!” The unfortunate toy bear was looking from one Edwin to the next, its head whirring with the strain of trying to figure out who was its real owner. Being bled on didn’t seem to help him much. “Oh, take this,” Edwin eventually said, handing the simulacrum one of his nightshirts. “Press it against your nose until the bleeding stops. And don’t let Mother find it afterwards, you know what she gets like if we get our clothes dirty.” 

“She’ll get really mad at you,” Edwin 2 said, sounding very pleased about the prospect. “I’d like to watch that. You’d deserve it too, for pulling my hair like you did.” 

Edwin 3 sniffled a little longer, but eventually he calmed down. “You’re both bean,” he sulked. Since this was met only with looks of complete bafflement, and not with the sympathy and contrition he thought was his due, he sighed loudly, looking very petulant. “What do we do dow?” 

“Well,” Edwin began, “I think we should…” Then he suddenly gulped, feeling an icy shiver run down his back. He had heard footsteps approaching the bedroom door…coming closer. Not just any footsteps either. They were firm and decisive, and utterly unmistakable. “It’s Mother! Hide!”


	7. Neighbourly Visit

_He's got your number now  
He knows just what you've done   
You got no place to hide   
you got nowhere to run   
He knows your life of crime   
I think it's suppertime _

_‘Suppertime’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

Edwin 2 and Edwin 3 both got looks of bug-eyed horror on their faces that Edwin would have found very comical under other circumstances. Then, Edwin 3 scrambled under the bed, while Edwin 2 hurriedly squeezed into the big armoire standing in one corner of the room. Edwin hoped the rude simulacrum wouldn’t destroy any of his clothes while hiding among them. _Mother wouldn’t be happy at all about that_. Edwin himself pushed the bloody nightshirt under his pillow, then plopped down on the floor and grabbed a random book, pretending to be busy reading. When his mother entered he looked up and smiled, attempting to look as innocent as he possibly could. It looked as if it might be necessary too – his mother had that stiff-necked look about her, as if she was only just barely keeping herself from tearing things to pieces with her bare hands. She did smile at him however – and then she noticed his face. 

“Edwin Mordred Alexander Odesseiron! What **have** you been doing?” Before Edwin had the time to reply, she had already wrapped him firmly in her arms, squeezing him against her bosom. “What happened to your beautiful little face, darling?” Her voice turned into a chilling hiss. “Tell Mother all about it, at once, and I will turn whoever dared molest my own baby inside out! I will make their ending such that it would make strong men weep, and I will make it slow!” Then her voice dropped back into a soothing murmur as she kissed his cheek. “Some demons perhaps…gradually peeling their putrid flesh from their bones…go on, dearest! Tell your Mother.” 

For a brief moment, Edwin was very tempted to obey. Then he thought better of it. After all, suppose she got angry with him for playing with old artifacts when he wasn’t quite sure what they did? And he had stolen it too…technically speaking. “Um…it’s nothing, Mother,” he feebly said. Being hugged as he was, at least she couldn’t see his face. “It was an accident, really. I was playing, and wasn’t looking where I was going, see. It hardly hurts at all anymore.” 

“Are you certain?” his mother asked, holding him a little away from her as she scrutinized him. “Edwin dearest, I know you want to be a big brave boy, but there really is no need to pretend in front of me.” 

“I am big and brave, Mother! I’m almost seven, remember?” 

“Of course, dear. We will say no more of it, and I will make certain you take a healing potion before your bedtime.” 

“But Mother, I don’t need…” 

“Edwin!” 

Edwin sighed. He didn’t much relish his simulacrums listening in to this. There really wasn’t much he could do about it though. “Yes, Mother.” 

“Good boy,” his mother said, smiling warmly at him as she ruffled his hair. “That’s my own little darling lamb. Now, what were you doing in here before I came in? I could swear I heard you talking to somebody.” 

Edwin felt little beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “I was…I was…talking to myself! Yes, that’s it! Talking to myself!” 

His mother gave him a long and penetrating look, during which Edwin felt sure his stomach would jump out through his mouth and flop onto the floor. “Talking to yourself? Why would you…” Then she nodded decisively. “Oh, of course. I have read about this, dear. It isn’t all that uncommon in an only child, to make up little playmates for yourself. Is that what you were doing?” 

There was a faint bumping noise from the armoire, and Edwin just barely managed to conceal it by coughing loudly. “Ah…er…yes, Mother! That’s what I was doing. Yes.” _It’s sort of true. I did make them up._

“Well, that is all right then.” She stood, and smiled at him as she turned to leave. “Many children do that. I had an invisible friend myself when I was your age…one whom I used to blame all my pranks on. Now, mind you be careful, or I will have a word with your little ‘friends’.” Then her smile acquired a bit of an edge. “And remember this much, darling…if they make mischief, I will hold **you** responsible for them.” 

“Yes Mother,” Edwin said, his heart heavy. He could already see disaster looming heavily on the horizon. “Mother? Where’s Teacher Dekaras? There was something I wanted to ask him about.” 

Edwin was looking directly at his mother as he asked his question, and so he was able to see the almost imperceptible tightening of her lips. “He is not at home at the moment,” she simply said. “There was something he needed to attend to. I will let him know that you asked after him once he gets back. That might not be until late this evening though.” 

“Can’t I stay up and wait for him? Please?” 

“No, dear. Now go back to your playing – and remember what I said.” 

Once his mother had left, Edwin ushered his two clones out into the open again. “What do we do dow?” Edwin 3 asked. His nose had now swollen to the size and color of a ripe tomato, although it wasn’t bleeding any longer. 

“We still need to make Elvira 2 grow really big,” Edwin 2 said. “Let’s try that blood spell.” 

“Do! Let’s go sidg to her!” 

“Actually,” Edwin said. “Let’s do both.” 

-*- 

Rory ‘The Roarer’ Ravonar lived on the other side of the Inner City, in a glorious mansion that could almost rival that of the Odesseirons. Almost, but not quite, much like the man himself. Dekaras had visited it before, and he hadn’t used the front door that time either. Although tonight he didn’t mean to actually go inside – it was the garden that was his target. The assassin didn’t doubt for a second that Ravonar would attempt to cheat in the contest, and it was only prudent to try to determine exactly how and sabotage his efforts if possible. He certainly didn’t intend to let some ridiculous bet force him into serving Ravonar, but neither did he mean to allow his lover to put herself at risk for his sake. No, Elvira 2 had to do better than whatever Ravonar was entering into the contest. 

The garden was well kept, with neatly trimmed emerald lawns, and garden paths raked to perfection. Trees, bushes and flowers, all had been made to grow in the exact spot where they would be to their best advantage. It was all very pretty, but ultimately boring, Dekaras decided. There was one great advantage to it though. Given the symmetrical placement of the trees, and the fact that the guards patrolling the garden tended to patrol in equally rigid patterns, it was very easy to stay out of sight. It didn’t take him long to reach his goal, a large greenhouse on the far side of the garden. The thing was brightly lit up, and glowed like a sun in the dark garden. Inside, he could see a thick tangle of green, presumably plants valuable or delicate enough that Ravonar wanted to provide them with extra protection. That would be where his entry for the competition was kept, whatever it was. There was one problem though. Rory Ravonar was moving about inside, the light shining off his bald head. The wizard’s lips were moving, and though it wasn’t possible to hear what he was saying, Dekaras managed to pick up a sense of it from reading his lips. 

“Grow for me…oh grow for me…” Rory Ravonar was humming to himself as he lugged about a large watering pail, now and then pausing to admire one of his plants. “Grow for me, my pretty friends, grow for me, to serve my needs…” He ducked to avoid the lashing vines of a large light green creeper vine, vines as thick as a man’s arm, and certainly thick enough to strangle him. 

Dekaras carefully moved closer, determined to get a better look. So far he had no idea of which plant was the one meant to enter the contest, and that was what he needed to find out. Then he noticed something else. A blonde head became visible behind a thorny bush. Ravonar’s daughter, Zabina. Her back was turned, so he couldn’t make out what she told her father. He picked up Ravonar’s answer though. “Oh yes, my pretty poppet! They’re quite ready. Soon your father will be the mightiest man in the city, just you wait! The Sapphire Seed Feed was just the thing necessary to aid me with the necessary mutations.” 

Sapphire Seed Feed… Dekaras recognized the name. He wasn’t exactly a gardener himself, but the Sapphire Seed Feed Scandal was something everybody had heard of. It had been the invention of a keenly ambitious, but sadly demented Red Wizard by the name of Orin Bicuspis. The bright blue plant food in question had worked all right, but it had also caused all the plants that it was used on to magically mutate in ways that sometimes were amusing, but sometimes outright fatal. It had been banned after the Tharchion found that his favorite rose bushes had developed the ability to shoot foot long thorns at anybody trying to pick any of the flowers, but apparently Ravonar had managed to get hold of some all the same. Dekaras wasn’t particularly surprised by this. You could usually get hold of whatever you wanted in Thay, illegal or not, as long as you were able to pay for it. 

Ravonar and his daughter were leaving the greenhouse now, him holding her by the hand. “Are the plants all done now, Daddy?” Zabina asked. 

“Oh yes. One more dose of Sapphire Seed Feed tomorrow night for the yellow one. The other one is perfect as it is.” 

“Will I get to help you rule the city, Daddy?” 

“Certainly, my poppet! You may order the whippings if you like…I know you enjoy that.” 

“Yay!” 

Dekaras waited until he was absolutely sure they were out of sight before he quietly approached the greenhouse. It wasn’t locked, which surprised him momentarily. As soon as he entered though, he understood the reason for that seeming lapse in security. A churning mass of moving greenery stood in front of him, an impenetrable jungle of lashing tentacles, strangling creepers and foot-long thorns. There were narrow paths between the plants, but any one of them seemed extremely dangerous. Right before him was a low bush, with dark green and thick leaves, growing from purple thorny stalks. There were berries growing on it, plump greenish-white berries that smelled delicious. Dekaras didn’t know if they actually were, of if they were poisonous enough for a single one to kill him, and he didn’t mean to find out. Those thorns looked sharp, and he noticed that as he took a step closer the leaves reached out, trying to grab him and pull him closer. 

To his left was a low-growing plant with sticky, white stems and very large flowers of a sickly pale yellow color. There was a faint buzzing sound coming from it, one of movement…and then the stems bent backwards and straightened up again. A swarm of needle-sharp thorns, each one enough to take an eye out, whistled through the air, shot out with the strength of a catapult. 

Dekaras counted himself very fortunate that he was as good at dodging as he was. It had come in handy more than once. All the same, he couldn’t recall any occasion on which it had been quite as close a call as this one. The thorns whistled over his head as he threw himself to the ground, coming within a fraction of an inch from tearing his scalp off, and an errant one actually managed to tear his cheek, giving him a nasty cut. _I hope that’s not poisonous_. At least the bleeding wasn’t too heavy, and he had managed to build up an immunity to quite a few toxins over the years. He didn’t think it would be a good idea to trust to luck though. Far better to trust in the antidote potions he had brought along and… 

The assassin froze in the process of getting to his feet. There had been a noise behind him. A very soft, slithering noise, almost inaudible, but he was trained to pick up on exactly that sort of thing. And there was a smell too…a sweet and haunting smell. He spun around, to find himself faced with a plant that didn’t seem to belong with the other dangerous exotics at all. _An oak? What is an oak doing in here?_ It certainly looked like an oak tree. A gnarled old oak tree, with just a few branches and spare foliage. But there was something very, very wrong with that picture, and he couldn’t help but feel that there was something he should be picking up on. If only that lovely smell wasn’t so distracting…it was getting heavier and heavier, making it very difficult to think straight. _Hold on…there wasn’t an oak in that spot a few moments ago. It must have…moved?_


	8. Caught Red Handed

_I'm your genie, I'm your friend  
I'm your willing slave   
Take a chance, just feed me and   
You know the kinda eats,   
The kinda red hot treats   
The kinda sticky licky sweets   
I crave _

_‘Feed Me’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

The noose-like vine shot out from the tree’s branches with the speed of a striking snake, aiming for his neck, and now there was an opening visible in the trunk, a yawning opening with many sharp growths around it. That was where the smell was coming from, Dekaras realized even as he leapt backwards with a curse, narrowly evading the noose. _Not an oak…a Hangman Tree!_ He dodged another noose, nimbly evaded tripping over a bag filled with the sparkling blue crystals of Sapphire Seed Feed, and that was that. As he retreated out the door, more nooses slapped against it, trying to catch him and drag him into the tree’s acid-filled pit of a stomach. Fortunately the tree didn’t try to force the door, something it easily could have done. They were supposed to be at least semi-intelligent, presumably Ravonar had it tamed to some extent. _Which is very fortunate for me_. Dekaras paused for a few moments, until his breathing calmed down. Now that his head cleared he could recognize the hallucinatory effect of the fumes emanating from the tree, the fumes meant to entice its prey closer. _Well, undoubtedly a lot of people would love to see me wind up on the end of a noose – not tonight though._

How to penetrate the greenhouse though, and get at Ravonar’s entry for the competition? A direct assault seemed impossible. The plants must have been primed to attack all strangers on sight – or whatever passed for sight when you were talking about plants. Worse, he didn’t know which plant or plants he needed to take out. Ravonar had mentioned ‘the yellow one’ and ‘the other one’. The yellow might possibly be the one with the thorns, but there was no way to be certain, and the ‘other one’ could be anything. Short of burning the entire greenhouse to the ground there didn’t seem to be any way to be certain of killing the proper plants, and that was out of the question. Not merely because it went against all his instincts either, such an act of open vandalism might well attract the Tharchion’s attention, and cause unwanted consequences. No, subtlety it would have to be…somehow. 

_I will have to think about this…carefully. But this is not the place to do so. Time to go home._

-*- 

“All right, everybody together now!” Edwin waved imperiously to his two clones. “The spell first, then the song, right?” 

“I still think we should just do the spell,” said Edwin 2. He was looking very grumpy. “That song is silly.” 

“Do! Id’st a great sodg!” Edwin 3 looked on the verge of hitting his ‘brother’ again, and Edwin had to step between them. 

“Will you two shut up and stop it?” he said. “The spell will work, but the song can’t hurt…and we want to do anything we can to help out Teacher Dekaras, right?” 

The two other Edwins nodded. That, at least, was one thing they could all agree on. The three boys focused on the piece of raw beef that lay on the ground, just out of Elvira 2’s reach. The plant was opening and closing its mouth hungrily, and her tentacles were weaving with agitation. Not only that, but there was a low voice emerging from her…deep and almost inaudible. 

_Feed me…feed me…feed me…_

The sound of that voice was enough to give all three Edwins the willies, but none of them wanted to admit it. Instead they concentrated as well as they could. They had managed to sneak into their mother’s study earlier in the evening, and found something that seemed very useful. Not the exact same spell that she had used, but something similar, that surely ought to work. Now they intoned the spell, as carefully as they could, and soon blood began to seep out of the beef, dribbling into the ground around Elvira 2. The plant keened with terrible hunger, drinking it all up. 

“Blood…blood…blood…” The boys chanted together, having switched from the spell to their musical offering of choice. It wasn’t really a song meant for childish soprano voices, but somehow that made it even creepier. 

“Blood…gore…blood…” 

“Gore…blood…gore…” 

“What’s the next line?” Edwin 2 hissed. 

Edwin thought for a few seconds. “Er…think it’s ‘Guts…gore…guts…” 

“Right. Guts…gore…guts…” 

“And what, might I ask, is the exact reason for this little charming serenade?” 

“No, no,” Edwin said without turning around. “The next line is ‘Blood…blood…blood’ all over agai…” Then he noticed the horrified expressions on his counterparts’ faces and there was a terrible sinking feeling to his stomach. “Er…hello, Teacher Dekaras…” he said as he turned around, a sickly smile on his face. “Er…it’s an old orcish courting song that was in a book in the library…by the way, what’s courting?” 

“Something that you will learn more about as you grow up, possibly providing you with interesting long-term consequences,” the assassin coolly said. His eyes were fixed on the two simulacrums, and he didn’t look pleased at all. “But I was not referring to your musical efforts, boy. Rather I am curious to learn why I am seeing three of you. Since I have not hit my head recently, I’m reluctantly forced to assume that there actually must **be** three of you. Would you care to explain exactly how that came to be?” 

Edwin’s mouth worked soundlessly for a few seconds, as he tried to come up with a believable explanation that would not make him look too bad. “Well…” he said, scuffling his feet a little on the ground. “Well, it’s sort of a long story.” 

Dekaras didn’t reply to that, but something about the piercing look in his eyes suggested that he was willing to wait all night, if necessary. 

“It’s all his fault!” Edwin 2 said, pointing at Edwin. “He’s the one who brought us here, and he says we’re both Simulacrums, but clearly I ought to be Edwin 1 because I’m much cleverer than he is and…” 

“Add it was by idea to sig the sog!” Edwin 3 cut in, grinning proudly despite his swollen nose. “That proves that the odly real Edwid aroud here is be, right?” 

“No it doesn’t!” Edwin protested, glaring angrily at the simulacrums. “I’m the original, you two are just stupid copies, and you wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t found that magical Netherese ring in the museum and used the spell on it to create you and I’d never have done that if I’d known that would happen and…oh…” 

“I see,” Dekaras said, and now the full force of his rather formidable attention was concentrated upon the original Edwin. The boy had the uncomfortable idea that this was what it might feel like to be an ant under a magnifying glass, outside on a hot day. Certainly his ears were burning hot. “I see. It seems to me that I mentioned something about how we were not supposed to steal things in the museum, did I not? And it further occurs to me that I may have mentioned a time or two about how I do not approve of you experimenting with strange magical items, especially when you have no idea of what they do. Do we perhaps need to bring a cleric over here to have your ears examined, or am I to be forced to believe that you were being deliberately disobedient?” 

There had to be a good answer to that. There just had to. Only he couldn’t think of it right now. “Um…sorry…” Edwin said, hanging his head. “I wasn’t thinking…” 

“No, that seems woefully evident.” The assassin sighed. “Edwin, this time nothing dangerous happened, but imagine what might have occurred if there had been a different spell on that ring. You could have been ripped to pieces by a demon, or sucked into the plane of fire, or…turned into a chicken or something similarly ridiculous. I simply don’t want you to get hurt, can you understand that?” 

Edwin nodded, mutely. He felt very, very ashamed of himself. “Yes,” he said in a small voice. “And I am sorry, really. But Teacher Dekaras, I really think that a demon would have been all right, because I’m a Great Wizard and I’m sure I could have…” Then he very rapidly shut his mouth as he noticed the expression on his tutor’s face. 

“No Edwin,” Dekaras said, and there was a thin edge to his voice that hinted that his patience had very nearly run out. “No demons. Absolutely no demons. And now I want you to give me that ring, before something else happens.” Edwin did so – there really was no other option. 

“But what about us?” said Edwin 2, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny. “Will we…will we just go poof or something?” 

“I dod’t wadt to go poof!” Edwin 3 sniffled. “I’m Edwid Odesseirod, I really, really ab! Not hib!” 

“Well…” Dekaras said, and he put his hands comfortingly on the shoulders of both simulacrums. “In a sense, I dare say you all are Edwin Odesseiron, as if one of him wasn’t quite enough to make the world uncertain. And I will do my best to look after you all, that I can promise you. That is what I am here for, after all.” Then, he straightened his shoulders. “Hopefully it won’t make me burst a blood vessel. Now then, what exactly were you all up to out here? Did I not tell you that you were not to go near that plant on your own?” 

“Well, we weren’t really alone because there were three of us and…” 

“Edwin…” 

The three boys hurriedly explained their idea about blood and singing combined. “She likes it too,” Edwin said. “Better than common old plant food, even if Father is using spells on it…” 

Dekaras pursed his lips, looking at Elvira 2. The plant was perhaps a little larger than before – and she was humming. _Feed me…feed me…feed me!_ The blood caused by the spell was already gone. “Plant food…” Dekaras said, and his voice sounded a little distant. “Magical plant food…yes, that would work. It has to work.” 

“What will?” 

“Never mind,” the assassin said. “I just had an idea – but I need to test it. As for you, you need to be in bed.” He shooed the three boys off along the garden path. “And no,” he said, “you are not allowed to sleep one third of the night each and spend the rest playing.” 

Edwin hastened his steps a little, not wanting to seem tardy, or to look too guilty about the fact that he had been thinking about just such a thing. “How does he know these things?” Edwin 2 said, his voice filled with awe. 

“Silly…” Edwin said. “Teacher Dekaras knows everything.”


	9. Fun at the Fair

_If you want a rationale  
It isn't very hard to see   
Stop and think it over, pal   
The guy sure looks like plant food to me. _

_‘Feed Me’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

As the day of the Garden Fair dawned, Dekaras wished that he did indeed know everything. He hoped that his plan would work, and he was reasonably certain that it would, but there was no way to be completely certain of it, and he didn’t much like that. He always worked meticulously on the details on every plan he ever conceived, and he really hated depending on luck. A backup plan to slow Ravonar down, that was what he needed, and also a way of keeping the home front protected. Well, he had an idea about how to manage both of those, actually. The means of administration had been the trickiest part to figure out, but given that it was such a warm and sunny day, he should be able to choose the subtlest one. If everything went as it should, Rory Ravonar would never even guess that anything was wrong. 

The Garden Fair was set on the grounds of the Tharchion’s own palace, a sprawling park that could easily have accommodated several smaller houses. Each participant in the contest had been instructed to bring a tent in which the plants participating in the contest could be housed. The idea was that they should remain secret and hidden from the other contestants until they were brought out and displayed in public. The Tharchion himself would do the judging of course, along with a few other high ranking Red Wizards who had elected to not compete, and the judges would be wandering among the tents before the main event took place. Dekaras had decided to do a little wandering of his own. Of course he wouldn’t be allowed into any of the tents, but that was a minor concern only. What he needed was to find Rory Ravonar, and then to incapacitate him. Not kill him…that would cause untold problems with the Tharchion after all. 

Ravonar, as it happened, was perched on a broad chair in front of the big yellow silk tent that housed his contribution to the contest. The wizard was sweating heavily in the mid-morning sun, now and then pausing to wipe his face with an elegant handkerchief that he kept tucked into the sleeve of his robe for comfort. In between that, he chatted amiably with all who approached him, though he studiously avoided mentioning exactly what kind of plant he would be displaying to the Tharchion. Dekaras didn’t even bother to attempt to approach unseen – it was broad daylight and there were no good hiding places in sight. Besides, it wouldn’t be necessary. Ravonar’s smirk as he noticed the assassin made Dekaras momentarily think of a shark. A fat and rather obnoxious shark, but still a shark. 

“Ah…” the wizard said. “My dear future servant. Thought you’d stop by to see your future Master, did you? How touching.” 

Dekaras shrugged. “The matter is not yet settled,” he said. “I think I will not start packing just yet.” He carefully avoided making any sudden movements that might alert any of the five muscular bodyguards flanking the wizard. “But I have always been one to honor my contracts, so if you should win the contest I will be at your service.” 

Ravonar’s smirk widened a little. “Not ‘if’, ‘when’. My victory is inevitable. I think I will very much enjoy watching you grovel before me, almost as much as seeing Elvira Odesseiron fuming at the mouth as I have you work against her.” 

This was the tricky part, of course. Dekaras knew that he couldn’t afford to show any particular emotion, and he thought he managed it, although he got a brief and interesting visual of Ravonar’s decapitated head with an apple stuffed into its gaping mouth. “That I can easily imagine,” he said. “And I see no reason why any future collaboration between the two of us should need to be…unpleasant in any way. Not when it could be mutually beneficial instead.” He managed to instill just a little bit of unease into his voice, just enough that he hoped it would make Ravonar think he was flustered enough to want to ingratiate himself. _Typical Red Wizard arrogance. He seriously thinks that his magic and social position are enough to make me fear him._

“You mean I shouldn’t have you whipped for your previous impertinence? Hm…perhaps I might be persuaded to do otherwise. Properly respectful you could be very useful to me.” 

“So kind of you, Master Ravonar,” Dekaras murmured, and he bowed deeply over the wizard’s imperiously outstretched arm with its be-ringed fingers. “May I?” 

Ravonar nodded, looking about ready to burst with satisfaction. Had he been able to read the assassin’s mind as he briefly touched his lips to the Ravonar Signet Ring, he would have felt far less confident about the future than he did. 

-*- 

Inside a vast, purple tent decorated with glittering silver stars, Edwin Odesseiron sat on a small wooden stool, sulking. After his experiment with Simulacrums had been revealed, both his teacher and his mother had decided that he needed to be carefully supervised so he couldn’t cause further mischief. His mother hadn’t let him or the clones out of her sight since they had got here, and in fact she hadn’t even let him out of the tent. _No fair. I wanted to go with Teacher Dekaras and look at the fair_. There were all sorts of interesting stands and stalls about, and performers of many kinds, including a puppet theatre with a very fascinating dragon puppet. But no, he was stuck here, with his stupid Simulacrums, watching that stupid plant. 

The boy glared at Elvira 2, and then stuck his tongue out at it. At once there was a sharp yet feminine clearing of a throat. “Manners, darling,” his mother said. She hadn’t even turned around from her scrutiny of a treatise on the ideal corpses to be used for zombie creation. 

“I wasn’t doing anything!” 

“Not that tone with me, Edwin. Now behave yourself.” 

Edwin sulked some more, but he did it silently. Elvira 2 seemed to be looking back at him, and he got the uncomfortable sensation that the plant was smirking. It was even larger than before, far larger than a horse, almost the size of an elephant. Now and then the creeping vines would creep tentatively in Edwin’s direction, but then they would pause before the wards erected around it. Edwin’s mother had put them up herself this morning, declaring that while she didn’t mean to let Edwin run about unsupervised, she also didn’t mean to let him close to Elvira 2 again. The same went for the clones, who were sitting on identical stools on either side of Edwin, wearing identically pouting expressions. 

“At least she’s big enough,” Edwin 2 whispered, looking up at Elvira 2. 

“I think Mother fed her some more blood last night,” Edwin replied, his own eyes fixed upon the grinning maw of the plant. 

“Human?” Edwin 3 said, his eyes big and round. His nose had been healed by now, making him able to speak normally. 

“Ogre. She summoned one in, and the plant just swallowed it.” Edwin bit his lip a little nervously, looking at Elvira 2. The vines were lashing now. “But I think it’s still hungry…the ogre would have gone away when the spell ran out, wouldn’t it? I don’t think it’ll stop eating any time soon.” 

All three Edwins looked at Elvira 2, and silently agreed. The plant wouldn’t stop eating, of course it wouldn’t. It would want more blood, and more, and more. And where would that come from? “Well,” Edwin 2 said. “it just has to win the competition, right? Then maybe it can be…” He paused, unwilling to use the word ‘destroyed’ in front of the plant. Elvira 2 was still looking back, ominously silent. 

“Maybe,” Edwin 3 said. “Or maybe it’ll eat all of Thay!” 

“Oh, shut up,” Edwin said. “Mother and Teacher Dekaras won’t let that happen, you know that.” Then he paused, and shot a worried glance in the direction of his father. Galen was humming happily as he walked around Elvira 2, admiring her. Now and then he poured a little water onto her, from a small green watering pail. “Hope nobody else will either.” 

Galen noticed him paying attention, and gave a cheerful wave. “Good to see you taking an interest in botany, son! Isn’t it wonderful what can be achieved with a bit of water, some plant food, and proper stimulation?” 

Edwin and the Simulacrums looked at each other. _They didn’t tell him? Might be better that way – think what he might have done if they had_. “Yes father,” Edwin said in a monotonous voice. “It’s great. Really great.” 

“Yes,” Edwin 2 echoed. 

“Really great,” Edwin 3 chimed in. 

“I’m quite sure she’ll win too,” Galen beamed. “Though a bit of friendly competition is always welcome, of course.” Then he turned his head a little and noticed the way his wife’s back had suddenly gone very rigid and that she had stopped unrolling her scroll. “Er…not that there is any danger whatsoever of me losing that bet of course. Heh…not at all.” 

“So I hope,” Elvira said, not turning around to look at him. “And you had better hope the same, husband. If you do fail, then I will take over the feeding of that plant, and I will make certain it is done properly.” 

-*- 

Once he had set his plan in motion, Dekaras retreated back into the crowd, not wanting to have Rory Ravonar’s attention focused on him. He made certain to stay close enough to keep an eye on the tent though, and on the wizard. Quite a few people kept coming and going, but Ravonar stayed put. Over the next hour or so, the assassin patiently watched, and then he noticed something curious. A tall Red Wizard, his bald head decorated with a swirling pattern of spiral tattoos, was walking out of Ravonar’s tent, presumably having viewed whatever plant was being displayed inside. There was something about the man that seemed a little off though. Dekaras had happened to pay particular attention to him as he went inside, because he had observed that the tattoos were actually somewhat similar to a pattern he had seen on the berserkers of Rasheman, and had found some amusement in the irony of that. The wizard’s skin was unusually tanned for a native Thayvian – or rather, it had been, when he went inside the tent. Now it was paler, and there was a strange yellow tint to it. Also, the man’s gait was stiffer than before, and a little jerky. Something was definitely wrong with him. 

Now that he had noticed it, Dekaras could observe the same phenomenon elsewhere. Certain of the faces in the crowd had taken on that same yellowish hue, and invariable the eyes of the people owning those faces were distant and a little glassy, as if they were deep in thought. _Mind control_? Dekaras wondered. _But at least some of them are fairly powerful wizards, and would likely be protected. And there are too many of them, Ravonar couldn’t possibly have cast that many charm spells on his own. Some sort of enchanted device? Poison? Something related to Ravonar’s mysterious plant, perhaps?_ It seemed a very good idea to find out, and soon. A slow but steady stream of people passed into Ravonar’s tent, and there seemed to be more going in there than into any of the others. Not all who went in came out with yellow skin and glassy eyes, but far too many. 

The tent was carefully guarded still – but perhaps there was another way to find out. If he could get a closer look at one of the afflicted people, he might be able to determine what was causing the problem. Dekaras hesitated briefly. It would mean turning his back on Ravonar – but the wizard was still in the same spot he had been for the past hour. And what else could he do? He couldn’t remain inactive, or whatever was happening would get worse. He could go back to the Odesseiron tent, but that seemed a premature action, since he had no solid information to help form a battle plan and Elvira was certainly capable of providing all the defense that might be necessary for the moment. He knew which spells she had memorized last night, and they were invariably nasty ones. 

That decided, the assassin silently followed one of the yellow-skinned people, one of the Tharchion’s own guards, no less. Now that he was closer, and knew what to watch for, the discoloration was even more visible. This wasn’t anything even remotely resembling a healthy human variant, this looked more like what you’d see in an aging drunk finally betrayed by his abused body. The guard was walking slowly, not looking anywhere but straight ahead, and it was very easy to follow him. He headed in a more or less straight line for the large red tent that had been set aside for the judges, a little apart from the others. Currently it would be empty, so there were only two guards outside it. The yellow-skinned man walked calmly up to them, raised his hand as if in a salute, and then rammed his fingers violently up the nose of one of the guards. When he pulled his fist back, wet clumps of gray matter were pulled out along with it, and his victim gave a moist, gurgling moan, dropped to the ground and lay there, arms and legs twitching. That didn’t last for long though. The yellow-skinned man jumped onto him, both feet first, there was a terrible crunching sound as of breaking sticks, and he was still. The surviving guard didn’t waste time with screaming, or getting a panic attack. Instead, he stabbed the yellow-skinned man with his short sword, straight through the belly – and stared with horror as his opponent simply looked at the sword embedded in his body, shrugged, and then proceeded to twist his head off. There was a loud and sharp crack, and it was all over. 

Dekaras blinked. He himself was fast, very fast, but whatever the creature in front of him was, it was likely to be a match for him. For all its apparent clumsiness earlier, it was deadly in combat, and impervious to normal harm. _Some form of undead, it would seem. A zombie, perhaps? But how could he possibly turn so many people into zombies, so swiftly?_

This wasn’t the time or the place for lengthy cogitation, however. Whatever Rory Ravonar’s exact plans were, they needed to be stopped, zombies or no zombies, and a good first step would be dealing with this one. Now, regular weapons clearly wouldn’t work, but perhaps something else… The assassin pulled a small bottle, made from red glass, out of a protectively padded container he carried on his belt. It wouldn’t do to let it break accidentally, after all. Then he threw the bottle, straight at the zombie warrior, and it broke open with a faint tinkling sound. 

WHOOOMPH! The explosion was pretty small, but very intense, and Dekaras was glad that he had taken the precaution of shielding his eyes against the bright light. When he lowered his hand again, the zombie was still standing before him, looking down in surprise at what had previously been its chest. By now there was only a large, smoking hole. Oddly enough, the expected smell of overcooked bacon was absent, and instead there was a stench as of burning compost. Also, there were no human organs visible in the wound, not even burnt ones. Only solid, greenish-yellow plant matter. 

“Urrrgh?” the zombie remarked, and then it collapsed into a silent heap. Dekaras waited a few seconds until he was certain it wouldn’t stir again, and then carefully approached. Yes, definitely plant matter. Then he noticed a small movement, and a slender green tendril, covered with yellow buds came creeping out of the zombie’s nose and gingerly felt its way across the ground before Dekaras tread it into a slimy green lump. _A parasitical plant of some kind, then. And unless I am entirely mistaken, this would be Ravonar’s ‘yellow’ one. The mother plant will most likely be in his tent. Hopefully he has done as he said he would regarding its care…but I cannot know for certain, so I’d better try to get to it as soon as possible_. In the distance he could hear a faint scream, suddenly cut off. Presumably, this wasn’t the only zombie with a mission. _But before I do anything else, Edwin must be away from this place._

A faint creak behind him, so soft it was almost inaudible, made warning bells go off inside the assassin’s head, and even before his brain had time to process the information being sent to it he threw himself to the side, rolling and then jumping to his feet again. A second zombie had appeared, and its fist had narrowly missed his head. Dull yellow eyes looked blankly back at him as the creature started to move forward. And there was a second one coming from around the corner of the tent…and a third…and then three more. _Whatever else you might say about Rory Ravonar, he certainly is an industrious person_. Six zombies. Could he fight them all at once? Possibly, if he was lucky enough. But it would only take one blow hitting him if they were as strong as the first one, and six zombies meant twelve fists. _Not the best possible odds. But perhaps I can improve on those odds a little_. As the zombies closed in around him, Dekaras made his move.


	10. The Power of Three

_Wanna save your skin, boy?  
You wanna save your hide?   
You wanna see tomorrow?   
You better step aside   
Better take a tip, boy   
Want some good advice?   
You better take it easy,   
'Cause you're walkin' on thin ice _

_‘Mean Green Mother From Outer Space’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

Meanwhile, Edwin had decided to pass the time by playing with the toy frog he had got back at the museum shop, before the whole Elvira 2 mess had even started. The clones were happy to join in, and soon they were letting the frog leap from one of them to the other, and having a good time of it. Edwin decided that maybe, just maybe, his Simulacrums weren’t entirely worthless after all. It occurred to him that perhaps he should wish for a little brother or sister for his birthday again – true, he hadn’t got one before, but you never knew, it could work, and he was sure a real sibling would admire and worship him tremendously as he obviously deserved, and never ever pick fights like the clones did. Edwin was just about to suggest this to his mother when the tent flap was pushed aside, and a vast shadow blotted out the door. 

It was Rory Ravonar. The tattooed wizard was standing there calmly, holding a small box, and he was smiling in a way that had nothing to do with genuine cheer. He was flanked by two men, both of them with pale yellow skin and blank eyes. “Madam Odesseiron,” he said. “I hope I am not interrupting anything important?” 

Edwin’s Mother got to her feet, and gave the intruding wizard a contemptuous look. “Ravonar, I find it hard to think of any occupation that is not more important than wasting my time on you. Now get out of here, you know this tent is off limits to you, by the order of the Tharchion.” 

“Ah yes…the Tharchion.” Ravonar giggled, all his chins wobbling in a way that made Edwin feel quite queasy. “I’m sure he would object, given the opportunity. As it is though, he won’t get the chance. When I said I meant to win this contest, I didn’t just mean a certain bet, satisfying as that will be – I mean to win it all.” He gave Elvira 2 an amused glance. “I see you’ve managed to make that Mantrap survive – impressive, but it won’t help you. I have brought two plants, you see. Even now, my Yellow Musk Creeper is attracting new victims, focusing on such people as might be a threat to me and turning them into plant-infested zombies. Take a look at these two specimens I brought along, how utterly obedient they are. They make for an excellent army, you know.” 

“I say,” Galen was saying, “that really isn’t very sporting behavior, you know! In fact I think that downright counts as cheating.” He was looking unusually offended, and not nearly as cheerful as normal. 

“Pft,” Ravonar said. “All is fair in love and gardening, you fool. Now stay out of this. My business is with your lady wife.” 

“Then business it is,” Elvira snarled, and her black hair was practically writing like angry snakes around her shoulders. “Get out of here this instant, you bloated toad, or suffer the consequences. And if you think a few zombies are a match for me, you’re about to be sadly disappointed.” 

“No, no, not the zombies,” Ravonar said with a nasty little smirk. “For you, madam, something far more interesting. Obliviax!” He opened the box he was holding, and black light exploded out of it with a screech as of a wailing banshee. 

When the terrible light dissipated, Edwin was horrified to see his mother standing there immobile, with an empty and uncomprehending look in her eyes, her arms still raised. The fact that his father looked much the same wasn’t nearly as much of a surprise, there wasn’t all that much of a difference to notice really, but it was still frightening. Convinced that both his parents had been turned into mindless zombies, Edwin tried to scream, but only a muffled yelp came out. Edwin 2 had clasped a hand over his mouth, and Edwin 3 was already dragging him into cover behind the hulking and writhing shape of Elvira 2. “Sssh! He’ll hear you, and he’ll kill all of us!” The clone sounded frantic, about as frantic as Edwin himself felt, but he knew that the Simulacrum was right. Choking down the sobs that wanted to get out, he huddled down low, desperately wanting to be invisible, clinging to his toy frog as if it was a lifeline. _Have to help mother and father…have to…somehow…_

“No, not the zombies,” Ravonar said with terrible satisfaction. “That would be far too crude for an opponent of significant magical worth. I hope the Obliviax was a satisfactory substitute though.” A mocking pause. “What’s that you say? Madam, you disappoint me. You have never heard of Memory Moss? The plant that sucks out memories, and more importantly magical spells, storing them within itself so that the enterprising wizard can consume them later? And you call yourself a gardener, how pathetic. I doubt you can understand much of what I’m saying at the moment, the moss should have erased your memories of the past hour or so, but let me assure you that whatever spells you had memorized will be put to good use. Once I and my servants are done with you, we will pay a little visit to the Tharchion…and then I will soon rule by default. Pity you will not be there to witness it. And now…good-bye. My servants, att…” And then he was hit full in the face by a very hard, green object, leaping at him with tremendous force. 

The sound was very similar to that of a rock dropping onto a bag of nuts. Rory Ravonar screamed, clasping his hands across the bloody ruin that his mouth had become, and then he spotted Edwin. The boy was standing right next to Elvira 2, looking very pale and frightened, but very determined as well. “Take that, ugly old frog-face!” Edwin shouted. The toy frog he had let leap at the wizard was still wobbling a little as it lay on the floor. It almost seemed to be laughing. “Why…why don’t you pick on somebody your own size? Oh, wait, I know! It’s because it’s hard to find somebody else fat enough to be taken for Thaymount, isn’t it?” 

Rory Ravonar’s eyes were practically bulging from his sockets now, and his face had gone a red so dark it was bordering on purple. “You…” he breathed. “You…little…BRAT!” His voice was thick and bubbling from behind his smashed lips and broken teeth, and there was a crimson glint in his eyes. Edwin wouldn’t have been surprised to see steam rising from his nostrils. 

“I guess,” said Edwin 2, peeking out behind Elvira 2, “that old lard-butt here makes zombies so he won’t have to feel so lonely anymore. He must be really happy to finally have friends with less brains than him.” 

“Oh yes,” said Edwin 3, smirking with satisfaction. “Look how confused he’s looking. I bet he’s all stunned by being in our magnificent presence, don’t you think? But he would be, ‘cos he wouldn’t know about talented children, only about that chattering little monkey in the pink dress, and I bet that ‘banana’ is the hardest word she knows.” 

And Rory the Roarer roared, his patience finally entirely snapped. He raised his hands, and Edwin could hear him starting the invocation of a spell, one he recognized very well even if he couldn’t yet cast it himself. “Incoming!” he screamed, throwing himself to one side even as the clones leapt the other way. The fireball just missed them, instead impacting with the pot of Elvira 2, rocking it. The plant hissed angrily, tendrils writhing with agitation. 

Ravonar was starting another spell, a lightning based one, Edwin thought. He looked across his shoulder, trying to spot the clones. There they were, backed up against the wall of the tent, with no way to go, and the wizard was definitely aiming for them. Desperately Edwin tried to think of something he could do to help the Simulacrums – yes, they weren’t really real people, but all the same they were sort of him. Certainly he liked them much better than many so-called real people he’d met. _Which makes sense, since they’re me, sort of_ If only he’d had his frog, he could have tried to hit Ravonar again, but it was lying on the ground, a good distance away. He didn’t have any spells memorized either, nothing that could be of use. As for his parents, they were still oblivious to what was going on. And then there were the two zombies…where had they gone? 

A strong hand lifted him by the collar, and Edwin screamed as he suddenly found himself dangling in the air. There was a terrible smell coming from directly behind him, something wet and moldy, and earthy. Too terrified to even manage a scream, he turned his head around to see an impassive, yellow face, with eyes as blank as those of a doll. _Eeep…_

Rory Ravonar momentarily turned his head, a triumphant smile on his face, and gave a brief nod towards the zombie. Edwin struggled to get loose, but the zombie was far too strong. Out of the corner of his eye he could see its fist rising…and at any moment now it would come down and hit his head. Edwin didn’t think he would even be recognizable after that. 

Edwin opened his mouth to try to scream again, and just as he did so, the plant zombie’s giant fist exploded. There could be no other word for it, the fist simply evaporated into a rain of sour-smelling plant matter. Edwin got some of it into his open mouth, and immediately spat violently, trying not to gag on the terrible taste. The surprised zombie dropped him to the ground, and he sat there, too stunned to move immediately, his head spinning. 

Rory Ravonar broke off his casting, turning around. Edwin hadn’t thought it would be possible for him to look even more livid than he already did, but apparently he had been wrong. There were white spots on Ravonar’s cheeks now, and he was actually growling as his eyes fell upon the entrance of the tent. “YOU!” 

Dekaras didn’t answer immediately. Instead he fired the crossbow he was holding once again, the zombie standing over Edwin made an odd coughing sound, and then the creature was suddenly screeching in an inhuman, senseless voice, poking desperately at the smoking hole in its forehead. _Acid_ , Edwin thought with a sudden burst of admiration so fierce it made him feel as if his heart would beat itself out of its chest. _That is so great!_

“The one and only,” Dekaras calmly remarked, and let the small weapon disappear into the folds of his black cloak with a flash of his fingers. Edwin guessed, quite correctly, that it would take too long to reload to be used effectively in close combat. Then Dekaras spun around, kicking the second zombie hard in the chest. The creature grunted heavily and staggered backwards, but it almost instantly recovered. The assassin circled around it warily, dodging the heavy blows that the zombie aimed at him, clearly looking for an opening for attack. 

_He broke cover to save me_ , Edwin thought, horror twisting his insides once again as he realized what was going on. _He could have killed Ravonar instead, but he wanted to save me first. And now they’ll all be going after him!_

It certainly seemed that he was right about that. Rory Ravonar was smiling again, his hands moving in a deadly pattern, his voice rising and falling as he intoned a spell. Edwin wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but the little tendrils of smoke forming around the wizard’s fingertips looked very, very worrying. And his teacher couldn’t possibly retaliate at the moment, he was still preoccupied with the zombie. Worse, three more zombies were just entering the tent, advancing on the assassin with mindless efficiency. 

“No!” Edwin screamed, starting forward – and then somebody grabbed him, yanking him backwards into cover in the shadows behind an old crate containing Galen’s gardening supplies. Edwin tried to scream again, and then he saw who it was who had attacked him, and for a few seconds the entire world seemed to go gray and floating. 

“Hush, boy,” Dekaras said, not three inches from Edwin’s face. His black eyes were looking concerned, but relieved at the same time. “You’ve been very brave so far, but now I want you stay put. Whatever happens, keep out of harm’s way, is that understood?” 

“Yes…but…you…how…?” Edwin looked from this version of his teacher to the one who was still being menaced by the zombies, feeling very confused. Then, he understood, as his two Simulacrums were briskly herded into the same hiding place, guided there by yet another exact copy of the assassin. _But…which one is the real one? Which one is mine?_

There wasn’t any time to ask questions though, as both the versions of Dekaras immediately moved out again, presumably going to aid the third one. Edwin did stay behind the crate, he meant to keep his promise after all, but there was no way in the world he was going to be able to resist peeking. His own clones propped themselves up on either side of him, and without even needing to really mention anything about it, the three boys were soon holding each others’ hands tightly.


	11. Main Course

_Watch me now!  
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.   
I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace,   
And you've got me fightin' mad   
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,   
Gonna trash your ass,   
Gonna rock this place,   
'Cause I'm mean and green and I am bad _

_‘Mean Green Mother From Outer Space’, Little Shop Of Horrors_

The two later appearing assassins hadn’t had time to take more than a few steps towards Rory Ravonar when the wizard finished his spell, directing it toward the Dekaras who was having to make a real effort with the zombies. However, then something odd happened. The spell didn’t fizzle, not exactly, but it also didn’t go off as it should. Instead, it hung between Ravonar’s fingers like a limp rag, glowing a bright green. Ravonar himself was looking very confused, squinting and peering at his own fingers as if he couldn’t see them properly, right up until the point when he lost control of the spell and it evaporated. “What?!” the wizard snarled. “How…my eyes! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYES?” 

“An extract of nightshade,” said the first Dekaras, and then dodged a blow from one of the zombies. He didn’t seem to have to make as much of an effort now…were the zombies moving more slowly? “I’m afraid any spellcasting will be out of the question for you during the next few hours, your eyes are currently incapable of accommodating properly for changes in light intensity.” 

“Really now,” said the second assassin, smirking a little. “You shouldn’t let your handkerchiefs flop about that loosely in your sleeve, not if you intend to use them anywhere near your eyes, nose or mouth.” 

“Yes,” the third one calmly agreed. “There are so many untrustworthy individuals about these days.” 

Rory was sweating even more heavily than before, looking violently ill. He was backing away from the assassins, his eyes darting nervously from one to the other.“I…you…you won’t get away with this! My zombies will…” 

There was a loud thud. Then another, and another. Edwin watched in amazement as the zombies dropped to the ground, utterly lifeless. Little green vines slithered out of their ears and noses, twitching and dying in small puddles of slime even before they could emerge fully. 

“Your zombies,” said one Dekaras, “seem to have met with some difficulty.” 

“It might have something to do,” mused the second one, “with you feeding the controlling mother plant Sapphire Seed Feed.” 

“Or to be exact,” said the third one, “Sapphire Seed Feed spiked with strong salt. The salt crystals are entirely invisible among the blue crystals of the plant food; did you know that? No, I don’t suppose you did.” 

Ravonar’s breathing was heavy enough by now that he sounded like a bull getting ready to charge, and in the semi-darkness inside the tent the whites of his eyes were very clearly visible. “You…think you’re very clever don’t you?” he asked, taking another step backwards. “But you can’t win! I haven’t yet made an outright attack upon the Tharchion…his edict still stands! If you kill me, your Mistress will be blamed for it, and will be punished! You have to let me go! And I’ll be back, you know I will! And then you will all suffer for…” He suddenly broke off. There was a small, tapping sound as something touched his shoulder from behind. Then it snaked forwards, something green, something slithery and very strong as it wrapped itself around his waist. Rory Ravonar looked behind himself, looked upwards to see the vast, fleshy petals of Elvira 2 bending over him. The petals were opening, opening in what resembled a hungry leer, and behind them there were other petals, sharp, hard, white ones, and a purple protuberance that had something very tongue-like about it. 

YUMMY! Elvira 2 said, in a heavy, deep voice that made the tent tremble. YUMMY FOR THE TUMMY! The tendrils tightened, and Rory Ravonar screamed as he was raised into the air above that perpetually hungry mouth. The scream was abruptly cut off at about the point when his feet disappeared from sight. Edwin was watching this with a mixture of fascination and horror, and there was one single thought going through his head, again and again. _She’ll grow…she’ll grow again! And then…and then she’ll want to eat again, and again, and again…_ He was still holding onto the hands of his Simulacrums, but he could feel them getting more insubstantial by the second, and then the two other boys were simply gone, disappeared into nothingness. Now he was all alone…and soon Elvira 2 would come for him and try to gobble him up. 

A strange sound cut off the boy’s horrified musings. A choked, gasping sound, and it was coming from Elvira 2. The plant was beating its leaves on the ground in what seemed to be a very panicked fashion, the tendrils were writhing with pain, and the petals were turning a sickly pale purple. About mid-level down her stem, Edwin could see the huge bulge that had been Rory Ravonar. _She’s choking! He’s too fat, and now she’s choking on him!_ And indeed she was. The plant bucked and writhed, more and more frantically, screaming in that choked voice once again, and then it collapsed, drooping heavily towards the floor. There was a final, faint cry of Feeed…meeeeee… and Elvira 2 fell silent for good. 

Edwin carefully came out from behind the crate, his legs trembling a little. “Teacher Dekaras?” he asked, surprised at how small his voice sounded. “Are mother and father going to be all right?” 

The assassin nodded. Well, all three of them did, actually. “They will,” said one of them. “They are already coming to, see?” 

He was right. Edwin drew a vast sigh of relief as he saw his parents stirring. He hadn’t realized until now exactly how worried he’d been. 

“Ravonar, you rotten scoundrel!” said Galen, his voice loud and indignant. “Why, you deserve to be thoroughly trashed and…” Then he fell silent, his mouth gaping open with horror. “My…my treasure! My darling! Oh no!” Within a few seconds, he was bending anxiously over Elvira 2, clucking at her and trying to revive her. 

Elvira woke up a bit more suddenly, and a lot more aggressively. “DIE RAVONAR, YOU WALKING PIECE OF OFFAL!” she screamed, and then she looked at her own hands with some confusion. “What…my spells? How…” Then, her eyes widened as she noticed the three assassins before her, all of them simultaneously giving her an amused little bow. “All right,” she said, frowning. “What has been going on here?” 

“Briefly put,” one of the assassins said, “Rory Ravonar made the mistake of not watching where he was going, and your…ah…namesake…made the mistake of not chewing carefully enough before swallowing.” 

“A tragic accident, really,” said the second one. “And as he was expressly forbidden from going into this tent, or those of any other contestants, the Tharchion is certain to understand that he had only himself to blame.” 

“As for us,” the third one said, “it seemed reasonable to take advantage of Edwin’s purloined toy in order to tip the scales to our advantage. Anything one of us can do, three can do better.” 

Edwin noticed a very pleased smile spreading across his mother’s face at that point, and her eyes were glittering eagerly. “Yes…” she said. “Yes, so I can easily imagine. So, do you have any idea about how long these Simulacrums will last?” 

“At the very least a day or so, depending on the level of strain.” 

“Oh…good.” Her smile was really wide now. “Yes, I’m sure I can think of some interesting tasks to keep all three of you occupied.” 

Edwin noticed that his teacher didn’t reply to that, except with another formal bow, and that puzzled him a little, but then he suddenly had something infinitely more important on his mind. He’d almost missed them, what with all the confusion, but there they still were…exactly where they had dropped to the ground. Edwin eagerly gathered the multitude of small, white objects into his hands, and then held them up proudly. “Mother! Teacher Dekaras! Look, look what I got! Look how many there are, and it’s all fair and square too, ‘cause I knocked them out myself, well actually my frog did, but that still counts, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? The Tooth Fairy will pay me for them, won’t she?” 

His mother looked at the teeth that were the sole remains of Rory Ravonar, and then she gave him a delighted kiss on the cheek. “Oh yes, darling. I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will be delighted to collect them. Don’t you agree, Master Dekaras?” 

The three assassins sighed, pretty much simultaneously. “Of course,” said one of them, and by now Edwin thought he could just about make out that this one looked a little more solid, a little more real. “Perhaps she can fetch them all at once, for maximum efficiency.” 

“But,” Edwin said, “You said before that the Tooth Fairy only wants to collect teeth one at a time…” 

“Yes,” the assassin conceded, looking simultaneously annoyed and amused by something. “Yes, I did, didn’t I? Very well. I suppose the Tooth Fairy will simply have to run herself ragged over the next week or so…but she’ll manage, I’m sure.” 

“Yes,” Elvira said, still smiling. “Somehow, the Tooth Fairy always does.”


End file.
